HAH! You thought you could beat me, mr. daylog? It's my 21st Birthday today! at 7:59 am this morning, i'm now official or something. Whee.

If all goes as well as planned, I am nowhere to be found currently, because I'm at an IEEE Multimedia conference in NYC. I'll head back to boston on a train tomorrow, and will take part in celebratory ritual when i get there.

Everything Day Logs
Yesterday | Tomorrow

Everything Snapshot

Time: Wed, 2 Aug 2000 00:03:13 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) Debian/GNU mod_perl/1.21_03-dev
Number of nodes: 633023 (1406 new since August 1, 2000)
Number of users: 17359 (30 new since August 1, 2000)
Number of links: 2710494 (21070 new since August 1, 2000)

Node to user ratio: 36.467 nodes per user
Link to node ratio: 4.282 links per node
Link to user ratio: 156.143 links per user

New Nodes: [naked] [Everything T-Shirt] [Have you changed since high school?] [Alchemy (album)] [Booker Prize] [Making Movies] [Midnight's Children] [Pete Postlethwaite] [Puyo Pop] [Bob the cock-eating weasel] [sleeping in a car parked on the side of the road] [Bladerunner soundtrack] [don't wipe it on me] [KPN] [DJ-Kicks]

Users Online (34): [sensei] [dannye] [pukesick] [ideath] [ModernAngel] [jessicapierce] [dragoon] [MasterYoshi] [fondue] [Gamaliel] [7Ghent] [coby] [gnarl] [Fruan] [heropsychodreamer] [Lethal] [Sand Jack] [Natrous] [skid] [mrichich] [RST] [stash] [Kubla Khan] [samgrover] [bis] [Phyllis Stein] [Professor Nishita] [Sputnik] [KetsuYa] [jep] [nikka] [Funky Pimp] [GSpot] [NWC]

JeffMagnus node count: 4014 (0 new since August 1, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience: 9210 (24 more since August 1, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 2.294 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.635%
JeffMagnus node of the day: God

Ahh. Considering herb'y is currently not really capable of accessing the net for any extended period of time, he won't see this for a leetle while, but happy birthday darlin'. I hope your day is exceedingly dreamy..

I'm re-discovering the joys of handwritten letters today, and am currently in the middle of writing not one, or two, but three letters with copious amounts of ramble'y content. There is one that is getting the greater amount of dreaminess, obviously it is the one that will be addressed to you. I'm exhausted..

My parents are so terrible for not telling people when they may have to work the next day. This is bad, very bad for me because they expect me to be able to jump out of bed after only just ending up there a few hours earlier. This simply can't happen, the universe would swallow itself and we'd all fall into our cheerios. Luckily those things make great life saver type devices.. *insert mental image of person floating around in a sea of milk clinging desperately to a cheerio, or, conversely, floating happily with feet resting on one side and head atop the other*.

I honestly need to partake in much sleeping tonight, so as I don't end up with an h or j (or any key for that matter) planted firmly in my noggin'.

I was pondering wandering around outside for a while tonight but it's a bit too bug'y out and I'm not too keen on getting a bunch of mosquito bites, especially with all the lovely disease paranoia about the world as of late.

I'd like to stroll around the universe with you tonight and look at the stars perhaps, you know, the generic gazing into endless night sky type stuff, but of course it would be much more than that if you were there. You've a way of making everything seem so much dreamier than it might on its own.. I miss you muchly.

I've always stood behind my values, they may have wavered, I may have questioned them. Without them you become less than nothing and when someone questions them you question yourself. Well I for one am tired of it. I don't care anymore, I almost hurt myself too many times today thinking about life and it's many enigmas wrapped in bags of dog shit wrapped in more enigmas. Fuck it, and fuck anyone who tries to fuck with these retarded emotions of mine. Fuck I hate emotions, chemical electrical signals shooting around my head. Why must they fuck with my existance. I don't care what people think of me, I really don't, so why the fuck do I try to impress people. When she acts all distraught and upset, I don't care, not anymore, it's done just to hurt me way to often. Thing is, it doesn't, but my conditioned response is to look like it does. Why the fuck, I just have to give up, I can't try anymore. My values are guides which when followed lead me to a land where i'm hated and mocked. So to all of you who fuck with me, who think they'd like to.... go kill yourself and while your at it kill all your stupid friends.

Today is:

New style (Gregorian): 2 August 2000
Old style (Julian): 20 July 2000 C.E.
Fixed:
730334 R.D.
Astronomical (at noon):
2451759 j.d.
ISO:
Wednesday, Week 31, Year 2000
Coptic:
26 Abib 1716 A.M.
Ethiopic:
26 Hamle 1992 E.E.
Islamic (until sunset):
1 Jumada I 1421 A.H.
Persian:
12 Mordad 1379 A.P.
Baha'i (until sunset):
Jal'al Kam'al, B'ab of V'ahib 9, Kull-i-Shay 1 B.E.
Hebrew (until sunset):
1 Av 5760 A.M.
Chinese:
cycle 78, year Geng-chen, month 7, day 3
Hindu Lunar (from sunrise):
3 Sravana 2057 V.E.
Hindu Solar (from sunrise):
17 Karka 1922 S.E.
French:
Decade II, Quintidi de Thermidor de l'Annee 208 de la Revolution
Mayan (long count):
12.19.7.7.16
Discordian:Prickle-Prickle, Confusion 68, Year of Our Lady of Discord 3166

Woke up around 6:30 Pacific time, and if i did not remove those excess pepsis from my body, they were going explode out on their own. 6:32, out like a light again.

10:30, up, shower and the like, 11:00, shoot forgot to shave. Oh well, maybe i'll scrape off some poor souls skin with my stubble. I use it to itch things.

Girlfriend came over today after school, we mostly just sat around and talked. Went to Vons a bit later to pickup something for dinner. We couldn't decide on what, so a frozen pizza it was. (I didn't feel like cooking) Also rented a few movies, Drowning Mona, don't rent it, and The whole nine yards, which i havn't seen yet. For some reason, mom, girlfriend, and i, all got splitting headaches right around 4 PM. Very strange. But g/f's wasn't really that bad, she just said her head felt funny. Mine was rather painful, she rubbed my temples, it felt better :) 10:30 rolled around, her mom came to pick her up. Pout. Oh well, i want to ride down to school and surprise her tomorrow.

KARMA STIKES BACK 2: SON OF KARMA!

Take Five, the CBC radio show in the beginning of the afternoon, was playing Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart all afternoon. Appropriately, Maxwell sang along with Papageno's song in the Magic Flute. No, that isn't the karma part.

Getting off the bus from the Living Closet meeting (next show on August 25th! Keep your eyes open for an open painting stage and a return of the dancers from Wreck Beach!) I am confronted a block from Hastings and Main by a large, muscular man with arms covered in tattoos. Am I about to be mugged? I ponder, avoiding eye-contact and trying to scuttle away from his path but he intercepts successfully. I raise my gaze and straighten my back to deal with this new turn of events with my full stature backing me up. I am not to be mugged; in fact, my thuggish-looking accostor just has been; he displays his cut pants, multiply displays his lack of track marks and bemoans his pot deal gone bad in which his wallet etc. was stolen by the vicious junkies who haunt the corner 24/7.

Rather surprised not to be coerced at the end of a fist to part with my material goods I instead donate the few dollars of change I have with me of my own volition to the man in front of me who seems a) desperate, b) honest and c) largely incoherent, the fight-or-flight adrenaline still pumping and baffling. Refusing multiply his offers to show me his ID so I can contact him at a later date for the return of my busker-fodder, I hustle down the street towards my house, wary of what predators might be out that one such as he would be lower on the food chain.

KA-CHING!

A half-block closer to my house my eye is caught on a flapping piece of paper and leaning over to the gutter I see a pair of $5 bills lying sadly on the pavement. Eagerly I snatch them up and scamper back to Main, but Curtis the tattooed victim is nowhere to be seen, so rather dejectedly I pocket them and head back to the house, where a pile of pants donated by a roommate's uncle waits for me to be Goldilocks (they were too big for one roommate and too small for another.)

It seems odd to me that my first impulse upon finding the money was to pass it on to the one who had just got the last of mine. Then again, money is dirty stuff. Makes me itch. I want as little to do with it as possible. This is not getting my Spinoza essay done (gotta bus out to my parents' in the morning - in seven hours - to print it out so I can hand it in. Ick) so the back logging will have to wait. Procrastination is making me more effective at everything else in my life except what needs to be done - I would elaborate on that but I'll let the words speak for themselves rather than proving it.

... I wonder if I can find anything in the Ethics to rationalize my not having written the essay. Hm. Unfortunately any ontological arguments about the modes of attributes of substance manifesting as finished papers can just as easily be applied to grades. Doh.

in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...

So, my roommate is actually home.

Let me explain. Same old story, newish twist, I guess. She was my best friend when we moved in together eight months ago. She's always been man-crazy (to each her own, I guess ...), kind of defining her value by the men in her life.

However, it's never been as bad as it is now. Her current boyfriend (it's been a long, rocky, complicated relationship) is her obsession. Technically, she lives with me, but realistically, I see her every three weeks or so, when she feels a little guilty about never calling or being home or when he's doing something that either she can't do (ie: go to the bars - she's 20) or she doesn't want to do (watch football). Then, I'm good enough for her.

He's out of town for two weeks for work, so she's going to be around for exactly two weeks. Not really surprising or even unusual.

The two things that get to me is that, 1) she expects to be constantly entertained, especially when I'm busy doing work or homework and that 2) she has spent the entire time bitching about missing him.

So, one can't help but wonder ... what am I, chopped liver?

Yesterday | Dizzy->Day_Logs() | Tomorrow


Happy Birthday Herbman!!

10:05 BST

It was raining, so I caught the bus into work. Just getting to the bus shelter soaked me right through, undoing the ironing that I had done to make myself smart for the salespeople meeting me today. It was raining heavily and the water was using the pavement's mortar lines to travel in geometric patterns around my feet. The ants were fleeing the water in an entomological atlantis; as they scuttled away, the water hit a piece of chewing gum. The water spread out in a fractal rorschach test for me; I saw a nuclear mushroom cloud and a forest of oak trees.

13:25 BST

I was handed a business card by one of the salespeople I met. There was an awkward moment until he realised that I couldn't reciprocate. I don't have a business card. What would my card say? "General Software Dogsbody"? or possibly "Oily Rag, please contact mechanic for more information"?

Went into town and successfully resisted buying any books, clothes or CDs. Yay for me!

I've discovered that I will be in Amsterdam from the 4th to the 13th of September. It also looks like I will be considered permanently on "Company Time" - preventing me from visiting a cafe to drink coffee and smoke cannabis :(

15:35 BST

Just got back from a "frank talk" with my Project Leader and General Manager. They've had the "feeling" that "I wasn't giving the job 100%". Well no shit, Sherlock! It's precisely because of your "Give us what we want for 2 months and we'll consider treating you better after that" attitude that has ground me down to a cynical, depressed and demotivated bastard. So I had to listen to half an hour of them stroking each others egos and reinforcing their selfish needs. Just listening to their souless corporate monotone made me even more demotivated.

The worst thing is that I feel so trapped. There's so many reasons why I can't leave this job, why I can't take the risk: I don't drive or believe in cars therefore I can't take jobs outside a tight radius. I have a lot of debt, so I can't finance a move or buying a car or training myself up. I have no qualifications to speak of therefore I can't go for a better job. I hate corporate bullshit therefore I don't get on well with good corporate bunnies. I love Unix and open source therefore I don't get on well with the Microsoft Lovers.

Dang! I really need a chill pill, don't I (/me smiles wearily)

I am sick.
My Wife is sick.
My daughter is sick.
My son is still sick.

There is nothing worse than feeling like hell and having to take care of a baby who isn't feeling good.

So, I won't get any work done today. Oh well. Luckily at my job we aren't punished for being sick, we have unlimited sick days. The same if your kids are sick. They have a real "Families First" policy.

They even gave one lady who had only been there a month airfare and a hotel room in Pheonix, Arizona when her son was in a bad car accident. With no obligations.

I am getting paid about half market value for what I do (ColdFusion programming with Oracle and SQL), but I love my job!

I actually feel bad for calling in sick this morning.

15:21 EET

Blah. Work, work, work. The bosses just won't get off my back!
Frankly, I'm getting a bit pissed off here. It's not my fault the client was a month late with material deliveries, is it? I'm really losng my nerves over them asking me "any progress?" every 10 minutes. None of my ideas are acceptable, and creativity is apparently a dirty word around here.
*Sigh* How nice it would be just to quit and get a better job. Unfortunately that is not possible with my sub-par skills, education and experience. So it looks like I'm stuck. The lousy pay is after all better than what I deserve for creating simple graphics and noding.

It's not just office troubles - I've been feeling edgy and irritated all week. No idea where it came from, either. Fortunately the weekend is shortly closing in, and my mood is always lifted like a helium balloon when friday arrives. Unless the +30c weather comes back. Autumn is delightfully close already, though.

I visited a few stores today shopping for new drawing equipment. I haven't drawn much since last winter, but I suddenly got an urge for it. Being an impulsive person cost me some 70FIM, but one can never have too many free time activities..

Btw, welcome back Booyaa!
And a happy birthday to Herbman!

Wait, wait.. I still have some exclamation points left..

Congratulations to norev for achieving level 2!
Just don't get an unhealthy fixation to XP.. although we all do at some point. :)



01:22 EET
the next day

And I thought 256MB is enough RAM..
I feared my hard disks would vaporize for all the swap made by rendering an A3-sized Arabuusimiehet poster. It took 47min for 2 simple objects with no refraction nor shadows being calculated! But the result should be worth it.

Damn. Just when I started getting into drawing after a while, I noticed my colored pencils are missing. Completely. They are nowhere to be found after turning the room around.. Oh well, better luck tomorrow.


Track of the day:  Cari Lekebusch - Quick Silver


Today's Writeups:
  • Korg 770
  • Korg Delta
  • Korg DDD-1
  • Korg DDD-5
  • Ten years ago today, Iraq invaded Kuwait. I remember it like it was yesterday. Funny how it happened just hours after I signed my enlistment papers for the Army.

    Aaaaah shit.

    Last night, after a lovely dinner filled with good conversation, after hanging out in the apartment, after all the normal, happy fun stuff, a 'relationship talk' began.

    Shit.

    "I feel like I'm way more into this than you are."

    "......"

    "This is just a game for you, isn't it??"

    "No! Why do you say that?"

    It's just that I have desensitized myself. I don't want to get too deeply involved because, in less than two weeks, we are no longer going to be living in the same state. And through the context that we've known each other, the majority of it has been in the beginnings of a relationship. I would rather just go with it, enjoy myself, but not get too attached because I don't want the pain of an exit wound.

    Fuck, fuck, fuck.

    Way to be an insensitive bastard.

    Last night at a friend's house... I didn't seem to be able to find a chair or stay in one place, so I heard and participated in fragments of conversations. Someone (I didn't hear who) wants to open a coffee shop, but her bf wants her to "do something more practical, like be a artist." (italics mine) Everyone agreed that neither idea was very practical.

    Anyway, was woken once again by the baby goat down the hill bleating in its human-sounding way. It is an awful sound, like a teenager trying to imitate a goat unsuccessfully but insistently.

    For some reason the first image in my mind as I sat up in bed was my old friend George, who was an art dealer (to put it simply). While in the shower, I tried to think of what could have put him in my head. He died several years back, and I miss him when I think of him, but when was the last time I thought of him?

    Finally I figured he came to mind because he was the last person I really liked and just had a simple, fun relationship with. Also, I am dead tired, and *there* was the other connection.

    Working on a project for Universiy atm, but Everything is such a distraction.

    I noded some more lyrics today, see David Gray. In fact, buy the album - it's cool. I didn't namespace my lyrics. Please don't namespace your lyrics either :-)

    Felt a bit funny about my node on 'n. It was meant to be dry but poignant - but I can see how people would think I'm trying to be funny. Have a look if you're bored, /msg me if you want to tell me your opinion on it.

    Lately I have been thinking about my life and trying to decide how truly good or bad it really is. I think it's pretty good, but it's not even close to being perfect. There are so many things that could be worst, like I could be poor and hungry, or my parents could be divorced, or I could have no parents at all. I could be disabled, I could be mentally challenged, there are a lot of things that could be wrong.

    Well, i geuss your probably wondering what the hell im blabbing on about, my life isn't so bad now is it. Well to tell you the truth, no, it isn't terrible. I'm not totally messed up or hurt, but I do have my hard times. I have four brothers who I really don't like all that much, but we get along sometimes. I go through everyday of my life trying to avoid them so they won't make fun of me by calling me a name that i absolutely hate being called. Actually, a lot of people call me this. They call me gay, but I'm not. I don't understand why they do it. It's not like I hit on guys, or show n e interest to them at all. I don't even have a lot of guy friends. This subject has torn my life apart in the last 3 years, ever since 7th grade. It all started at school, there was this one kid who decided that I was gay because I was going out with this girl he liked and I didnt try makin a move on her during the first month. Then as the years went by he was convinced I really was gay. I was no longer with the girl, but I didnt have any friends that were guys so now I was gay because of that. I tried everything to get him to back off, I even went to my guidence counselor at the end of eigth grade. I had had it, two years of him and all the popular kids bugging me about being gay. Now it was because of how I talked, could I really help it? So the last year has been the worst year of all. All the popular kids have been calling me gay even though I know I'm not. All my friends say it doesnt really matter what they think because i know I'm not, but it's harder then that. Going down the hallway people wisper it out, like they don't know I can hear them. Everyday in science class this one kid who tell all his little buddies how gay I was and would make fun of me, I hated going to science class. So now I can't stand high school, but I have to deal with 3 more years.

    Alright, now back to my brothers. It's pretty sad when people in school say things like that to you, but when your brothers do it too it's even worst. Like I said before, I have four brothers and all of them can be mean to me. Growin upI never really like one of them, he was adopted, but was my cousin before we adopted him. He was just weird and I didnt like him. My favorite was my brother jason. Tim and Chris picked on me by beating me up. Now chris, Tim, and Jay all call me gay. It's funny how the person you least expect to be nice to you is the one who always is. Tom, the adopted brother has never called me gay, and I look at him in a new way and he is definitly better then my other three brothers now.

    Being called gay is very hard, but I have learned some thing because of it. I was shown the way that gay people are treated and I know that they have it a lot harder then I do. I can't stand it when people make fun of them now, because I know how they feel. I have also realized that even if I am made fun of, the peope who are making fun of me are not worth making a big deal about. Doing something like committing suicide because a popular kid doesnt like me is ridiculous. My so called life isn't perfect, but It's not over now is it? I still have a lot to look forward to, and when my class reunions come i will show up with a wife and prove everyone wrong!
    Whee.... I feel like writing a daylog today.

    Well, ok, maybe it's also about yesterday a little bit, but that's ok, right? The Everything Police won't beat me for it, will they?

    ...

    Anyway, on to the daylog!


    Yesterday, I was cleaning out the basement of my school (instead of having a meeting with the other sys admins about what we're doing next year), when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I looked, and found myself face to.. uh... face with a wang. It was average sized, I suppose, but somehow appealing.

    I grabbed it, examing it more closely. It was spanish, I think. I could tell by the way it seemed different than most other wangs I've seen. After examing the top a bit, I turned towards the bottom, to see what secrets it held. Much to my surprise, I found a speaker there.

    An odd thing that was... A Spanish Wang Keyboard with a speaker in it.

    I didn’t write a day log for the last couple of days because there has simply been no time. Work is suddenly busy, and that means no time to node since I have some responsibility or something. Right now our VPN is down, so I have nothing else to do except write nodes or go to lunch. I will probably go to lunch soon.

    I had a really good weekend. I spent a lot of time with Alex. On Sunday, we went to the Portland Art Museum to hear Peter Bagge speak. He is the creator of the Hate comic book. It was a really cool talk, and we got to ask him lots of questions. The museum had an interesting traveling exhibit of modern art called “Let’s Entertain” which was very cool. We didn’t “get” a lot of it, but it was still an interesting exhibit. The museum is a great way to spend a hot Sunday afternoon. It was cool and quiet there.

    The last couple of days have been filled with work, work, and more work. There really isn’t much to report. I’ve been going to the gym the last couple of nights and sticking to the diet. I feel pretty healthy.

    The chick that I bitched about in my July, 28 2000 day log appears to have moved out. I’m not entirely sure about this, but it has been extremely quiet since I called my landlord and gave him that earful.

    I applied for a job at the place my dad works. I’m hoping I get it since its twice what I’m making now and more interesting. I am sick of having all these pieces of paper that say I’m smart but a job that isn’t paying me very well. And, I don’t know what the deal is with the job market around here. Nobody calls you back about the positions you apply for.

    My life is boring right now, so I am not typing anything else on this today.

    Nodes That I Wrote Today:
    none

    CD’s I’ve Listened To Today:
    none yet

    Please remain on the line for the next available agent.

    today my insecurities and paranoia caused me to make a stupid assumption. the result? two headaches. i won't beat myself up over it. i have apologized. i will learn. i will remember.

    i will put absolute trust in the words spoken by those who love me.

    After a sub sandwich for dinner ~10 last night, I wake a couple of times in the night. That is tremendously rare for me. No indigestion, just light sleep. I wake for good at ~5:30. Work: accounting gets a smack for overlooking my rate increase. My 4-port Belkin KVM switch and an Ethernet patch cable arrive. I should have held off on the overpriced patch cable, because I need cabling for the switchbox anyway, and I won't commission an additional machine until I can control them all from one console.
    Micro Computer Cable Co. claims they "don't really sell to end users"... just like my last order, 4-5 years ago, that disclaimer is the extent of their resistance, and I order 3 computers' worth of KVM cabling. MCCC is super-cheap, and I feel good about supporting small business.
    Dad stops in to quiz me about how the Internet works, is it worth trying to capitalize a search engine start-up? I explain Open Directory, mindshare, and offer my opinions on the changes down the pike for intellectual property and development vs. licensing fee models as public-license code evolves.
    Bradlees supplies me with a comfy woven cotton blanket. Flatmate brews coffee with cinnamon, mmm!
    My parents left me home alone early this week, on a Wednesday. Finding this out as they left, I jumped into action attemptng to betray their trust. Wednesday? Can't have a party... a girl! Then I came to the sudden realizatio that I'm a computer geek that fails with the girls, but it did take about 5 of them not being home plus one being home but getting ready to see her boyfriend for me to realize it. And she's the one I have the crush on. I've got to find a way to win her over, she's exactly my type. But until then, I'm subjecting myself to blind dates, hook-ups through friends, and someday I just might actually get the nerve up and ask a random hottie out next I see one.
    So for now, here I sat in front of the computer aimlessly surfing the web, after taking in some Survivor and Big Brother....
    Had dinner with the cuz (see Vancouver BC girl cop and her horse riding friend. So strange to see my cousin after probably 12 years, and find out that her best friend is the fiancee of one of my good friends of a few years ago.

    I used to live in this big weird art house in Portland, along with a ever revolving collection of actors, film makers, activists, bakers and the odd musician. I used to hang out with this intense musician who was really pushing some cool digital music through his Mac SE. He built this guitar with an extra pickup on the neck, like Fred Frith plays. Anyway, he up and got a job down in SF, the first of many for a year or so there, working at a company that specialized in high end audio filtering software. Last I saw of him (aside from seeing Fred Frith with him at the Berkeley museum, kind of randomly, a year later when I was down at Apple).

    so now he's marrying my cousins best friend? weird, no?

    Anyway, after all that, came home. hung out. went to sleep. or so I thought.

    It appears that my upstairs neighbors are "in the artistic way", and are somehow providing a soundtrack to what I can only assume is a jungle movie. Until 3 am last night long warbling hoots and screechs came from upstairs. I lay there quietly furious, too achy sleep to get up and confront them. Knowing .the entire time. that I had to get up at 5 and fly down to San Jose. Bastards

    So I did. Utterly exhausted, I shot down to the airport right at dawn (beautiful pink), listening to an old Lush tape, because I was too tired to hear words, but needed loud music to stay awake.

    strolled quickly onto the flight (Alaska airlines, quick check: MD80? no.), bought a too hot coffee, breezed on board and sat down.

    Deep achy sleep, but it was just getting light. My coffee was still too hot, so I balanced it against the wall with my foot. We took off, and for a few minutes I could see the entire interior of the Olympic Peninsula, including Mt Olympus right in the middle. The rock was all a alpenglow, and looked warm, which it probably wasn't.

    Then I feel asleep, and woke up as we touched down in San Jose. As we left the plane, the guy next to me and says "have a good nap?". I can only assume I drooled on him or something. whatever, the way I get sleep (1:45 am as I write this), i gotta catch some where I can, might not happen again.

    It always feels really weird to me flying into San Jose. Here you are at this rinky dink airport, walking down steps, across the tarmac into the single floor, then right out the otherside to the parking lot. Meanwhile, you are in Silicon Valley, and are surrounded by Sun, Apple, 3Com, JPL, Palm etc. Kind of anticlimatic, really. and the bar can only fit about 8 people, which really bites.

    So I went to Palm for the day, which I can't talk about. But I can comment on their building. Big and bright. Lots of locked doors. Conference rooms named after astronauts. Little golf carts ferrying people too and fro to the main 3Com campus. 90 degrees. humid. starbucks built into the building. swank ass breakfasts. Waterfalls. Nerds in khakis driving lexii. And hell, I'm not even really amused by that any more. Boring rich bastards. kill me before I drive a lexus.

    Then down to Los Gatos, where I was once being encouraged to move, but just couldn't pry my self out of this damp crisp climate to move to the urban wasteland. But Los Gatos is very nice, complete with Ferrari dealership.

    Spent the rest of the afternoon in a state of suspended animation, then finally made it back to the airport (2 hours early), to have what was one of the more awkward beers in recent memory. Almost falling over people in this fucked up little bar. It's a damn shame when beer is that hard to get.. but the corona was cold, and good.

    Very little of note, but I'm sick of each summer day being the same as the other. They all blend together in my mind. I'm afraid that I didn't document enough of my life, and that too much will disappear into the sink of "I can't remember.".

    I woke around 2pm today - I'm truly going to miss sleeping in. The construction workers next door are still working - I don't understand why that couple bought it. It was a pit to begin with, and they must have spent nearly as much as it cost just to remodel it. And it's taken forever - they were just starting to work on it when I left for college, and it's still going. Aiyah.

    This heat has really killed some of the plants in the house garden. Considering I should have been watering them more often, I doubt my mother's going to be happy, but it's past the point of no return now, so no stress. The short conversation with Carmen was a real slap in the face about how much Spanish I've forgotten, but I doubt I'll do anything about it. I'm sick of making promises to myself I don't keep, so why add another?

    I called up one Pizza Hut which of course was the wrong one - they didn't deliver to my house. I shouldn't have felt guilty, but I did somehow. Later, when I felt less embarrassed and hungrier, I looked up their website. Somebody there has a clue - there was a nearby location map, so I got my medium pepperoni of +1 heartclogging. And of course I ate it all. Not quite one of my more health-conscious days. Jumper got up on the bed and started sniffing at the pizza. I bet he'd eat it if I gave him the chance.

    I was watering the lower plants when I saw a coyote lope across the street. Scared me considering I hadn't seen Mixie or Piblet in the house for a while, and I really didn't want to tell my family I had got their cats eaten. I chased it off, which wasn't hard. I know it's what to expect when you live up in the hills, but that doesn't mean I can't want to kill any of the bastard cat-munching things when I see them in person. I wouldn't support their extermination though - nature red in tooth and claw, and humans were the ones who pushed up into the coyote's habitat. Good thing the cats were inside. Too much Perfect Dark these past days. I think I'll throw it on the garbage heap along with Everquest.

    Little bit of voting and noding this night along with a chat with transform. RAHercules's whining about What Happens if You're Too Nice? got on my nerves. I mean, I was a so-called nice guy, and I think it's really meekness/shyness or something else that they're complaining about. I think some other node on E2 said this, but what exactly are they complaining about, that being nice doesn't get them laid? I don't know. Reminded me of Janice too - I haven't thought about her in a while.

    My tongue feels somewhat strange where I took out my tongue piercing. As it is now, I could probably put it back in. Think it would be neat if I could keep it to stay open like that, but I'm too sick of it digging into my gum and straining my jaw to keep it. Of course, if I could get my tongue web cut and then have one placed farther back... plans, plans. I'm definitely going to miss it a lot, but it's just too far forward as is.

    Mother and youngest brother were supposed to be home at 1am, and they're not. They probably left a message, but I haven't checked. There's always a chance of something bad having happened, but if I can't do anything I can't fairly worry either. Stoicism makes some things easier.

    Dan's Dinner Synchronicity

    I'm eating dinner in Round Table Pizza, rather high, with three friends. I'm not participating in the conversation and my eyes wander around the room to land on a nearby table.

    There are about eight kids all crammed in around it and the one that is most visible from my seat is the youngest, a boy, maybe four or five years old, sitting in a booster seat. He is crying. His Daddy just reprimanded him for some unknown reason and a little girl in glasses is comforting him by wrapping her arms around his head. I feel a gush of empathy with this small person as it brings back memories of my own fearful relationship with my father. In fact, the boy bears a striking resemblance to myself at that age. I look over at his dad sitting at the adjacent table; he looks quite a bit like my own Daddy.

    The man looks over at his son, still a little teary-eyed. "Eat your dinner, Daniel. It's getting cold."

    We even have the same name.

    I turn my attention back to the conversation. Those things hardly phase me anymore; they've become almost commonplace. Coincidence mounts. Synchronicity converges. Time is ending.

    Day 2 of a Voice Over IP class. I learned more about the telephone system in this class than I ever would have expected. I don't know if I'll ever use any of this stuff, but the class was suggested, and I took it. I have a large book full of terms that I'm sure aren't yet present, or poorly-defined, here on Everything. I'll get to them someday.

    Week 1 of my in-line skating class. Didn't start off too well, as I jammed my finger when getting up off the grass after putting on everything. Then I was worried that I'd be too bored, since it was the beginner class, and I took it because I don't know everything they'll cover, but they were doing very basic stuff.

    It turned out there were some others with experience around mine, so we divided into two groups, and the girl teaching the class showing the other group the very basic stuff, and we got to go on to more advanced turns and stops. I like that, as stopping is my biggest problem.

    I realized I was out of shape from two hours of constant skating, and that I need to be picky about which socks I wear, as one of them had a small hole and it started rubbing. But not too bad. And I picked up on the "trick" she taught at the end, Shoot the Duck.

    It was fun, and I already feel better about my skating. And there are two more classes to learn more cool and fun stuff.

    August 1, 2000 | August 3, 2000 | Zulu One's Essex-cellent Adventure

    Today was the first day proper of the holiday. As navigator of our group, I managed to get us to the Great Maze, which I solved in about a quarter of an hour (average solution time is an hour). I also decided to share with you the secrets of navigation, a work which will be in progress when I get back.

    After the easy solution of the largest maze in the world, we went to Hedingham Castle, just to the North. It was besieged twice and is owned by the descendants of the original owners. As I've been to almost every castle in South West Scotland, it was nothing special to me, but it was quite informative.

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