You can spend days at a time praying for moments alone. Sometimes its not until you go to sleep at night; when no one is around, do you well an truly feel you can relax. As you lie in the dark and quiet with nothing but your mind for company, an instance of satisfactory peace will wash over you, as you have time for yourself and to reorganise your thoughts.
However, this feeling you have waited so long for is destroyed almost immediately because, as you lie alone in the night, you suddenly crave the warmth of a lover, the light conversation of a friend, or possibly the comfort of having your family close. Every person or thing you spent all day trying to evade, or hoping they would go away, you suddenly crave with every fibre of your being. It is human nature to socialise, so as you lie there in the dark, gradually but most surely, overwhelming feelings of loneliness wash over you as silently crave everything you love.
On the other hand being alone arguably is an almost impossible feat. Soon a new movement will begin, as you lie there contemplating how pathetic your life feels when your all alone, sounds of the night also creep in. It’s not long before you can hear the deafening sound of the person in the next room breathing, the cat outside meowing that some sod has forgotten to feed, kids out in the street, living the life by chatting loudly by the rubbish bins, with every word that comes out their mouths being crystal clear. Late night drivers, animals and possibly even a train in the distance are all of a sudden oh so apparent as you realise the time alone you prayed for has still not come. The deafening silence you feared minutes ago never existed; once again your resentment is back as you say to yourself
“Could I not just have a minutes peace.”
Any feeling of being lonely dissipate as you resent the fact you cant be alone, sadness and fear are washed away as you forget your previous emotional cycle; hating everything that stands in the way of your being alone.
Human psychology is an interesting topic, we tend to want what we cannot have, however, is it possible to want something that can never be attained, or to achieve being alone while standing in a room full of people?