Once you have the above techniques and tactics mastered, it's time to go for the kill. Sure, you can hoover a line like a fiend possessed, but if you ain't got style, how are you going to impress those drug-buddies? It's not the 80's, excess doesn't cut it!

And as we all know, this method of drug taking is the most social, for this class. It's the class A equivalent of the joint.

So: first, you need to make the fundamental choice: straw or note.

The straw

Personally, I think plastic straws are for kids. If you're spending serious dosh on your favourite chemical, you need to either indicate this with some permanency, as if to say, this is my life choice. I used to own a stainless steel 'straw' with a rounded nose-tip and flared inhalation at the business end. You could also buy them gold-plated or in the shape of a vacuum cleaner. Look in your local bong shop.

The note

The choice of note says a lot about you. For example, in countries and regions where the notes are brightly coloured (Australia, Europe) depending on denomination, it is immediately obvious, even when rolled, what the note is worth. So, choice of note is particularly important in these regions.

The $100 bill, as the highest denomination, tends to be the 'flashy' one, and, if you like your bling blings and gold chains, this is the one for you.

The $50 is a rarer beast, but the preferred note of choice in my book. Why? It's larger than the $20, larger than you would need for daily purchases, but not so large as to be flashy, and you're going to have a few around in case of the need to splurge.

The $20 note is still acceptable, if you buy your drugs in points rather than grams or ounces.

Rolling the perfect note

If you really want to impress, however, you want to be able to roll a note that won't unravel as it is passed around the table/bed/whatever.

Take the note, lay it flat. Take the lower left corner, and dog ear it. The angle formed by the crease line should be 45 degrees. The note should look like the following dodgy ASCII art:

(c) |_____          |
     \   |(d)       |
      \  |          |(b)

The unfolded space above the triangle fold should be about half an inch, or one centimeter. Now, turn the note over, and begin to roll the note tightly from the unfolded end (b). Roll inwards towards (c) so that the flap is sticking out behind. Now for the magic.

Take part (c) and slide it around the top of the roll, so that the crease tucks in behind the flap formed from (c)-(a). If you have done it right, the flap (c) should wrap around the roll and tuck in behind (d). If you drop the note, it will keep its shape.


Once you've mastered snorting without spluttering, sneezing or otherwise embarassing yourself, practise doing it all without sound, and with one hand.

Instead of snorting hard, try inhaling deeply but soundlessly. Hold the note between thumb and middle finger, block the opposite nostril with your index finger (e.g., if left-handed, block your right nostril), hold the note to your open nostril and inhale. It causes a hell of an effect.

Best of luck!