Yesterday, I encountered the worst physical pain I have EVER endured. Which is a lot. C'mon, I've been bucked off by horses, my foot got stepped by one of those beasts to the point of breaking four bones, sprained an ankle and continued a hiking trip two days later. Not a whole lot can slow me down. I have piercings, I have tats, I love hot stuff, I have an ulcer.....go figure. Not a whole lot can slow me down but.....

I have a slowly rotting wisdom tooth, which has been plaguing me since October of last year. It's cracked open, it's open all the way down to the root, through the root. Why am I being an id10t about this? Because my father was an old country doctor, who once said to me, "Unless it's killing you, leave it be." Dad, the fucker's coming out as soon as the insurance comes through, this is ridiculous.

I had to call out of work last night, way against my better judgement. I stayed home clawing at my mouth, swallowed three-fourths of a Kava kava elixir, jacking off until I caught moments of blessed sleep only to wake and do it all over again. That's right, masturbating. It draws all of the blood away from your brain, allowing the pressure to concentrate in other, ahem, areas. I learned this trick years ago, and frankly, up until now, it has worked. Just to be candid, I went for five rounds and finally swallowed 1800 mg of ibuprofen. This got me to today, where my uptight boss took so much pity on me, he drove to Columbia just to bring me some Vicadin. Only in my parallel universe, I swear.

I am by no means a pussy, but even I have to have something that'll bring me down. I can't even think straight. I started crying from the pain....can't believe it. Beat me, bite me, puncture me, punch me.......I'll go along like it was par for the course. Adam looked at me and said, "Don't cry Kir. Don't cry. My world'll crash if I see YOU cry." Don't know me very well, do he?

SO that's where I was yesterday, MIA, flipping over and over on my cot just praying that I'd pass out from the pain. Nerve pain, not ache pain. But I forgot, I don't pass out or faint. Never have. Made of stronger stuff than that. God, I wish I were a pansy not a cowboy sometimes. Ever seen Swing Kids.....?

Griffin dropped a bomb on me. I have to get a bigger place NOW. You see, I love you darlin' but this Kir is totally different one than the one you practically lived with a few months ago. I don't need a bed buddy. So, if you're crashin', I need my space. And Satyr and I are planning to hit AZ and Nevada in July....and we're not sure when we'll come back once that happens. No worries, I promised you'd have somewhere to fall back on. But you ain't messin' up my chance at renewal, got it?

Have to call Cammy and Bear back today, got chased off of the phone with Bear two days ago. Have to drop the film off......yah. Grrm quit today. Hey, it's for the best. Sometimes you gotta tear it ALL up so you can rebuild. Don't give me those big puppy dog eyes, we're gonna be friends, love. Have to get ready for this weekend. It's going to be the first Fell's Point Art Festival, and I'm in charge of our booth. My boss trusts me expliitl to run it ALL weekend. I love a challenge.! I'm psyched.

Need to make plans to go South in two weeks, so I can see the 'rents, grab Griffin.....did I mention the infamous birthday is in one month and two days? Need space!

And Memorial Day is off limits to all but one person. That much I know is true. Ahhh...pain killer wearing off. Have to go teach Adam how to stretch a canvas and take his first painting lesson.

Where is all of this going?