For the ages: I live in Vaasa. It is 9 days from the 11.9. events.

I was noding in my school, reading node "creative methods of suicide". I was reading that part about grinding yourself into sausages. I thought I wouldn't kill myself - I got goosebumps from the thought. The time had run out quickly, so I had to run to catch the bus. I was thinking little, being in a drowse. The bus drove as ordinary to the intersection in Vaasanpuistikko, where Vaasan Väri and the office of Veikkaus are. The traffic light turned yellow and red as the bus came there. A truck from Lohja Rudus with an empty trailer stopped and sit there right in the middle of the intersection. I was still in my own little world inside me, so drowsy I thought nothing of it. What drew my attention was that the bus was trying to get past the truck while the light was red!

Then I saw a bike fallen on the road and people wandering around in the middle of the intersection. Someone was crouching to look at a person. Worried, upset faces. I was thinking "Now someone has knocked his head to the truck, gone unconscious and they're trying to get him out of the way". I tried to see more and wondered if I could help using my first-aid skills. I saw her face, which looked familiar, but I know it couldn't have been the person I was thinking of. She had a restful expression, like he was sleeping. Then the bus turned enough for me to see.

The bicyclist had been crushed under the trailer. I read from the newspaper the next day that she was an old woman, and she had got big wounds into her legs and arms. I saw a cleanly outlined pile of gray and yellow goo with red stripes in it. I felt like puking. I thought she had been half crushed under the wheel. I had seen such things in the TV, but it is NOTHING compared to the real gore. Even cutting a mouse into pieces didn't compare. I had never been scared by the real human skeleton in the biology classroom, either. My reaction was an irresistible force. Barely a glimpse of gray and red stuff, and yet I felt like puking.

I was as curious as upset, and turned so that I could see the crushed bicyclist, when the bus was driving away. I was upset and not feeling like talking. It was disturbing as hell that people continued talking casually after that. An ambulance came towards the bus at the viaduct (maasilta). No siren was on, so I thought she was dead already. Only the fire department head's car had switched its siren on.

I thought she was dead. This death wasn't even one of those where you get old, lose the sense of reality, get ten different illnesses and die from them at the age of 72 (the mean life expectancy). Not peacefully in a hospital, not just falling down like Spede Pasanen a few days ago. Now someone was in a hurry, lost his concentration for a fraction of a second - and was crushed to a pile of dead meat and blood under a tire. This I thought in the bus.

A jet plane flew over me when I got out from the bus. I thought of World Trade Center, Sears Tower and the Minneapolis-Amsterdam flight. The terrorists could've chosen that flight and destroyed the Sears Tower also. I could've been turned into such a pile of gore.

After putting the coffee maker on, E2 is the first thing I did. I hope that the terapeutic element of everything exists...

Just a small UPDATE. When I went to the city I checked the place. It is the intersection of Vaasanpuistikko and Pitkäkatu, where Kurre, Kråklund Shåp, Vaasan Väri and ex-Svenna are. The blood splat had disappeared, because this is one of the busiest intersections of Vaasa. But, there was a small (about two thumbprints) splat of blood on the white road painting. It's clearly visible when you come from Kurre to Vaasan Väri. The officials probably won't bother to clean that up. (fnord)

The newspaper Pohjalainen reported that she had remained conscious and lives still. It's strange how she looked like totally crushed. Well, I remember a story from Valtteri Suomalainen's book "Kuolet vain kahdesti" (You die only twice). A pedestrian had been in an accident with a truck. The rescue personnel thought he was dead, because his head looked like a pile of gore crushed under the wheel. When they were talking and trying to decide whether to take the corpse with them or not, the corpse rose and asked "Where's my hat?" Only his scalp had been torn. He had no other injury. Now I experienced this kind of a illusion myself.