Together with its introduction Inch-Blue, this is the single most impressive song ever recorded by This Mortal Coil. It is the pinnacle of their 1989 release filigree & shadow. Many times, it has been my shelter from a painful reality.

The credits list Gary Ogan as the author of this song. A quick web search give Bill Lamb as a co-author. I've never heard the original version of this song, so I can't gauge how different TMC's rendition is -- but, judging them by their previous efforts, it's probably a noticable distance, while still retaining the soul of the original.

As a performance, this piece pulls together all of TMC's strengths: soundscaping, heart-rending female vocals, evocative lyrics, and beautiful instrumentation. It simultaneously has words that are uplifting and music that is ominous, as well as offering dark words and a transcendent melody.

I've gathered all my lifetime, memories of you
My lusty sentiments, they made life seem true
I'm rather selfish and I mean to be unkind
You can't imagine what it does to me inside

But where am I? I want to die!
I want to live... I want to die.

If I were someone, I would like to be the fool
No one would know me, and I think that would be cool
I'd paint a picture of my life upon your walls
And use the colors that have made life seem small


But you've got a way of understanding me
And I'll just call it one of your mysteries
But you know you've got to stay close to me
Oooh, close to me



I spent many evenings in college using this album (and this song in particular) as a self-medicating form of therapy. Some people hear this song and think it's depressing; others are uplifted by it. I hear both, simultaneously, and that's why I'm so fascinated by it.