Today I decided to just drive. Not "drive" as in a means to and end, but rather, as an end unto itself.

I saw an old woman walking down the road today, and everything that she was scared me. It's spring, today, and the world is green and bright and growing. She walked along, slowly, in frailty, and brought everything I'm trying to forget to the forefront of my mind.

I've been battling myself and my own fears lately. I don't want to think about death, I want to think about the vibrant life around me, and not the decay and entropy that we are all subject to. It's too beautiful out to be dying, I'd rather live.

I drove, somewhere. I don't know where, I think that was the idea. I just drove fast, got lost, and took pictures, and it felt right. I turned down a road I didn't know, and then followed it, and turned again, and again, until I had no idea which direction I was heading. I drove down that road for an hour, then turned again, and again. I could have kept going until the gas ran out, and then filled my tank until the money ran out, and then walked, until my legs gave out, and never seen familiar ground. Everything is so beautiful and vivid. I saw cherry blossoms and bees and the greenest grass I have ever seen. I felt a beautiful sense of freedom.