It has been a strange night. I went to my home home for some reason of which I am not quite sure. My friend Charlie was having a
tupperware party at her house and a party party afterwards, so I went with my mom to buy tupperware and mom went home and I stayed. I got a
collander. I really needed one of those things. :) So by 8 PM, I'd already had a productive night.
So Charlie's boyfriend, Geoff, who is of age went to the liquor store for me and I got a nice big bottle o' wine and we were just partying. They were smoking up, I (once again!) do not imbibe, I want to watch porn for some reason, 10 seconds into the viewing I changed my mind. I keep forgetting how disgusting hardcore pornography is. But Charlie insists that I have to see Edward Penis-hands because of how funny it is. It was extremely funny, this dude had penises on the ends of his arms instead of hands (thus the title) and like all these chicks were getting fucked by his penis hands. The funniest part was imagining all the applications of this scenario... "Dude, he could have three orgasms at once"..."He could be having intercourse, anal, and oral sex with the same woman at the same time!" I have never seen more hilarious porn in my life.
But we're all sick of porn and so we watch Three Kings, which I wasn't watching because I was talking and drinking my wine. After one (very large) glass I start to feel sick and decide to stop so that I don't throw up and so that I can drive home later, and give the glass that I had already poured to Charlie's friend Mike who was sitting next to me...
Later on, after the movie was over, I was in the kitchen playing with the sensual magnetic poetry on the refrigerator and Mike comes in and plays with it too. Then he kisses me. I didn't kiss him back, which I guess he mistook for assent. So I'm backed up into the corner of the kitchen and decide to focus on the magnetic poetry all the while thinking, "Why does it have to be sexual, goddammit!" when the only sentence I can form is something about making love from behind and so of course his hands have to go (just about everywhere)... He kisses my neck and tries to kiss me some more. When I pull away he says, "What's wrong?" and since the only response I can ever come up with in a sexual situation is that of passivity, "Nothing," try to go back to the magnets, repeat, repeat, repeat. I was very sexually attracted to him, and not like I wasn't enjoying things, but I just couldn't let myself for some reason. After a while, he turns away from me to refill his water glass and I slip around him while I can. A few minutes later his ride comes and he has to leave, both sparing me and leaving me unfufilled.
Now, why the hell did I react that way, when upon first meeting this guy I was attracted to him?
So I hung out with friends for another hour or so, and then the wine that I had had began to wear off and I started freaking out, feeling all shaky again and was afraid I was going to have a nervous breakdown in my high school friend's apartment. Geoff (who was the only one in the living room as this was going on) was really nice about the whole thing, kept asking me if I was okay, if I needed anything, he was really nice. I drank some water, talked to people some more, and decided it was probably best that I leave before things get any worse. I'm still feeling shaky and thinking that I was probably in better shape to drive while I was still a little buzzy, but I made it home safely.