Today hasn't happened yet. But seeing as I know what's going to happen, I'll write this in advance and patch it later.

11:00 Wake up.
11:30 Wake up for real.
12:00 This tim, I'm actually getting out of bed.
12:30 Eat some Corn Pops. Yummeroo.
1:00 to 4:00 Do diddly-squat. Maybe do some noding as I have finally gotten a login here.
5:00 Begin calling girls.
5:05 Finish, with no date tonight.
8:00 Smoke up some w33d with my buddies. I get it free at least.
2:00 AM go back to bed.

That's it. That's my life.

I guess my grandmother is going a little senile, but in a weird way,

She seems to suddenly have developed strange views of the world that she hadn't had previously. One of these that my mother shared with me is as follows :

Sylvester Stallone is actually dead. "They" are simply covering it up and not telling anyone because people would be too upset about it.

I don't know where this came from, but this is downright genius.

James Joyce was born in Dublin a hundred and nineteen years ago today. We should all look so good.

The back of the Irish ten-pound note contains the opening sounds of Finnegans Wake:

"riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs."

Now you know why Guinness is so expensive (and good).
Today in school, I started spouting random quotes. Considering that most of the people at my school don't have the intelligence (or is it wisdom?) to understand the meaning of alot of them... I got plenty of strange stares.

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife." - Douglas Adams

I managed to not fall asleep in math class today. Somehow I feel it would've put me out of my misery.

"The question is whether suicide is the way out, or the way in." - Emerson

Oh well... suicide, sleep, same thing when it boils down to listening to, "Bueler? Bueler? Bueler?"

"The whole is equal to the sum of its parts." - Euclid

'tis easier to wield a sharp axe than a sharp wit? Not if you're a geek. Perhaps I'm bantering now... I don't think I've stopped. I ought to get some sleep so i can telepathically permeate the node barrier and raise my node-fu. ph34r.

These day logs get more EXP than their worth. That is what I realized today. I wrote a day log a few days ago because I was frusterated about something, and it got a ton more EXP than other writeups I had done that I consider much better! People need to stop dumping + votes in the day logs. It would be better if none of these day logs ever get votes. I can see a C! everyonce in a while to keep something on the Cool Archive, but for the most part, anything written here will be forgotten in a week and disappear, not to be read by most people ever again. Day logs add nothing to everything. Feel free to use it as a daily journal, but stop dumping + votes here! I mean it! I don't want to see this writeup get any + votes at all!

If time is space, a day is a place

Writeup Maintenance

I was reviewing my old nodes, collecting my worst for an E2 Nuke Request after I sumbit another batch of Pinocchio chapters. Instead of having these writeups nuked, I decided to improve them:



(I really should stop playing silly games. I played the computer-M:tG last night WAY too much. I even beated one pre-made deck with my own deck - opponent's life points sank to -20... Now that's what I'd call grande finale. Oh, and Leviathan doesn't rock, but is great for blocking...)

Today... nothing much has happened, except that I'm more or less feeling.... helpless.

It was sort of odd to wake up and note I had got sorta many new kewls. Thanks, folks. =)

Now, time to face the challenges of the day...


God I'm tired... *YAAAAWN* =(

I finally got the drawing of myself from the person who wanted to make a picture of me... It looked sort of nice, too. I hope it will be published Widely soon. =)

Other day logs o' mine...

Noded today by y.t.: character user interface

Updated: Finnish keyboard layout You know you've been noding too much when... Avoid noding about noding (interesting coincidence... =)

After getting about five lengthy or at least emotionally full e-mails from my recent ex-boyfriend, we agreed to meet tonight and talk. I'm feeling quite exhausted, physically, and I'm really angry with him. This isn't going to be much fun.

Yesterday I felt like ranting at him - today I just feel sad and still angry. It doesn't matter, in a sense, what we say today. We aren't getting back together - he's just got too much stuff for me to deal with that drags me down. But we have been friends longer than lovers - and I value his friendship a great deal. So, to preserve that friendship, what we say tonight will matter a great deal.

I have no idea in the world how I'm going to deal with this tonight. We're supposed to meet at Barnes & Noble which seems ridiculous to me because it's a public place, and I'll probably start screaming and crying and throwing myself on the floor, kicking my feet and throwing cups and spoons at his silly face and then I'll get thrown out for being an asshole.

Which is not the best way to end a relationship with some one you respect. The whole thing has me very bummed out.

and you know I still love you.
Well, I have been a good little noder for the past 2 days, fixing my speeling mistakes, citing sources, doing research for nodes, following all those DO's and DON'Ts.

I have now decided what I want to use E2 for. I don't want it to be an agony column where I whinge about my life or a soapbox to rant about my largely inconsequential views on subjects that I know little about (I am not accusing anyone of doing this, by the way). I am going to use it to improve my writing, spelling and knowledge by researching for factual nodes.

It does seem that I have become addicted to this site far too easily. I am going to have to try to cut down a bit and get some work done.

Newbies msged today: 2
Writeups so far: 0
Things acheived: nothing

Well what's happen to me today? Nothing much. Well, not to me anyway.

The story started last Saturday when I got up before going to the computer fair. My parents were on the internet looking for cheap air fares to Marsielle. They then decided to tell me (despite seeing them for several hours the night before) that my mum was going to France because my Gran was going to have an operation for cancer. Oh, well, she'll be alright. I hope.

Last night (after giving blood, I'm a good boy) I went back to my parents house for dinner and to collect the car. When I was driving back into town with my sister, whe told me that my gran doesn't even know she has cancer. Aparently our grandad decided that she shouldn't know unless it goes pear shaped. That fact that she will almost certainly have chemotherapy didn't change his mind about that.
At 11:30 this morning, hopefully my mum got to Machester airport, checked in and is now in Marseille with the French half of the family.

As for me, I have the car for the next week. A plus, but I'm still in debt as far as luck goes. What else? Well, 2 hours to go before I finish testing. Went to the pub for lunch, light headed when I got back. Sarah's still in London. I think I'm going to have a tense weekend!!

As of 16:40, I am officially a C-noder.

Today, readers, I stimulated another dull as poo day by blowing 125 english quid on a domain name. The perverse irony of this is that is the same stultifying IT job that pays for this reckless abandon that inspires it.

<insert classic whinge about being a half-hearted-techie here>

okay so the doctor never called with the results of the MRCP he ordered, which he said was very important to get done immediately. why did he bother to say that? he left for vacation this morning without having looked at the MRI films at all. he also didn't wait for the blood test results. so i talked to a different gastroenterologist at the same office, and he relayed to me that the MRI films all showed normal, and my blood test results also came back normal. i almost started crying. i have such constant pain and i do not want to live with it anymore. the attacks of intense pain are scary. and they can't identify a cause for it. the doctor said that since there was no sign of stricture or stones, that he assumed spasm of the sphinter between the bile duct and the duodenum. but he isn't recommending ERCP. i am a young female, and the risk of chemical-induced pancreatitis is too high. all i can see is that i am in immense pain anyway -- if they do the procedure and it works, fabulous. if they do the procedure and induce pancreatitis, whoop-dee-fucking-doo... i'm already in pain which is having a large effect on my life. so they give me nitroglycerin to use during acute attacks, and tell me to rely on vicodin for the constant dull pain.

i have been given a license to become a junkie again. even having told the doctor about my past issues with opiate abuse, he says that when i am in pain the vicodin will only ease it and not make me high. i don't think he understands addiction very well. but what can i do? plain-jane tylenol doesn't help at all.

so they're telling me to live with it. i'm telling them i can't. i can't believe that it doesn't concern anyone overmuch that about once every two weeks my poop turns white. that i get less than five hours of sleep per night, average because of attacks of intense pain. that this is effecting so many other areas of my life including my job and my love life. i fucking hate this shit.

a message from a retarded corporate sponsor:

Defy Convention!
buy mass-produced sneakers
be different by being like everyone else

Well after being on here for awhile and seeing all the funny write ups and how many XP they get, I think I must be funnier in person. My friends all think I'm funny and a few of them think I should try a little stand up comedy. I can think of a couple of things why it's different on E2. First, timing, most of my funny stuff happens because I'm in the right place at the right time. Second, environment, maybe the internet shows my more serious side. Maybe E2 seems to be a more serious outlet for me than real life. My wife says humor is how I flirt with women. She doesn't care because she knows I wouldn't know what to do if one of those women really came on to me. She thinks I'd stutter and pass out. Maybe I don't feel like flirting on E2. Whatever the reason may be I'll always think I'm funnier in person.

I hope your Friday is going as well as mine is. I had a great visit with my dad last night. Today I went to get a Reuben Sandwich, and found two beers in front of me as well!

Meanwhile, here at work, my boss is having problems with his Win2k box. The other system administrator is telling him to switch to linux. Muwahahahaha! I guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite on this, I use Windows ME at home.

Speaking of home, my sink is leaking, or more specifically, the garbage disposal. Fortunately, I have lots of paper products, as any good bachelor pad should!!!

On February 2nd, I always think of that movie, Groundhog Day. What a terrible thought, to have to relive a day over and over again. It was a good movie anyhow, quite funny, IMO.

My brain is rotten. Hopefully the end of the day will come soon!

Normally, I'm the one sending people home. Not the one being sent home. Fortunately, I can ignore my boss, because the work has to get done, and I'm the only one who can do it.
Not that this work needs a lot of effort. No need for ten thousand monkeys and ten thousand typewriters. Just give me 50 reasonably well-educated chimps who can speak the English language, and I can teach them how to support thousands of imbeciles. Gotta love this job. Or not.
They want me to go home because I have been in constant pain for over a week. I have bad teeth. Right now, one of my wisdom teeth is infected, and no medication is dulling the pain. Used to be, if I had a toothache, I'd pop a ketoprofin (Orudis KT), and blammo! no more pain! Infection is a different sort of pain. Not so much inflammatory as it is directly on the nerve itself.
Needless to say, very painful.
But I have to be here to do the job. No one else here is capable or willing to do everything I do here (despite their comments to the contrary). And it's not just ego saying that - I've tested them. The HR director can't manage three kindergartners in a nap-time, much less 100+ employeess (she's supposed to be managing several departments). She keeps losing time sheets and sick notices. People aren't getting paid. Checks are supposed to be ready by noon on Fridays, it's 1:45 pm, and still no sign of them. It's no wonder I'm here on my day off.

But all is not bad. Between my girlfriend and a very sweet employee, I got "woken up" in a very nice way, when they both bit me on the neck. Very nice ;) Makes me glad I came in on my day off.

This writeup may constitute too much information for some people. But since a daylog is essentially a diary, tough noogies. Five years ago, I became sexually active for the first time. I lost my virginity on Groundhog day, which is certainly apropros considering the person I lost it to resembled a burrowing rodent. I remember composing some bad angsty teenage poetry about the experience, using the lines "Six more weeks of winter/Although I am not his shadow".

Anyhow, here's what happened: I was 19 and was unglamorously seduced while watching "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert". There I was, sitting on rust-colored wall-to-wall shag, innocently enjoying drag queens frolic through the australian outback in yards of fabric and entierely too much mascara when a chubby, acned 17 year old with sweaty hands suddenly pushed me on my back and unzipped my pants.

A moment later, the thought occured to me, "that's someone's mouth on my penis". After the surprise of having someone else's actual mouth on my penis wore off, my irritation grew, how did this boy expect me to pay attention to this sex act when our fabulously frocked protagonists were just about to reach Alice Springs? (Aside: what sort of Drag Queen would choose the name Bernadette?).

Eventually, I followed my sweaty and anxious Don Juan to his bedroom, (although my thoughts were with poor Mitzi) where we went through the terribly awkward motions of various sex acts. Okay, so "various" in this case just means bad oral sex and mutual masturbation. He seemed to enjoy the whole thing a good deal more than I did, and I was starting to wonder if I was really straight. Over the course of that night and the next morning, he had a total of seven orgasms. I had none.

Shortly before parting, he offered me a blank check for my troubles and said he felt guilty for "despoiling" a virgin that he didn't want to have a relationship with and wanted me to leave quickly. Secretly relieved that he did not want a relationship with me, but insulted that he offered me a check as if I were some sort of Hollywood Streetwalker (didn't Julia Roberts at least get cash?), I ripped up his check into tiny bits and threw them into his face and stormed off. A decision I've long since regretted; if the check was good, I could have gotten a nice pullover sweater out of it.

I am drinking a 40-ounce of colt 45 and writing a self -introduction paper for my self fo junior writing. The assignment is a letter of introduction to a publishing house in order to do writing on east asian literature aimed at the general public. I feel like saying in my introduction that the only way for me to be mellow enough to write such crap is to write it while drinking a 40. My roommate is watching the fireman games on tv. I am telling him about the taste of wild turkey bourbon and how I once had to drink a bottle of it on a dare and how after drinking it everything seems easy to drink (with the exception of 99 bananas)

I am going to raise my bed up maybe so that the the stuff on my floor can be thrown under it.

We had a party last night but it was broken up by the RA, nobody was written up though. After the party got broken up (it was boring anyway) we went to the basement and played pool and mah-jongg, which was actually a lot more fun than drinking anyway. I have a shitload of homework for some strange reason. Something funny happened today in Japanese class- the past couple of days I have been kind of rusty seeing as how I have not spoken a lot in the past month. At the beginning of the class the teacher asked me a question and I was sort of stupid, and it took me a long time to answer the question because I couldn't think of anything to say. After the beginning of class we did and activity where we talked one-on-one and as soon as I opened my mouth BAM!!! I could talk again! After that class was good. As I said, I have a lot of work to do and so that is what I am going to be doing all weekend.

it's friday afternoon, which around here is the war of music. Everybody in my hall blasts their hip hop as loud as they can go and cranks up their bass. It's fun and nobody gets mad, because we all know that it's the weekend and we are going to have a wicked lot of fun.

I love college.

how lovely. I have been voted down. I think I will write some more. Tonight we are going out bowling with everybody from the party last night and me roommate also ( because last night he went clubbing in Springfield with his brother) After I go bowling I am going to come back and play mah-jongg. While in my recent buzzing stupor, I finished the majority of my homework for the weekend. I have left simply to do my linguistics reading. That leaves me with a great amount of time to do whatever I please for the rest of the weekend, with the exception of Sunday morning, when I am going running with the frisbee team. Sometimes you just feel like your life is drifting and you don't know where to. Friday afternoon is one of those times. Every friday afternoon I go to my room, listen to my loud music, and think about what I am going to do in the future. I suppose other people have their starry nights gazing at the heavens to think what they will do with themselves, but I have friday afternoons. I like starry nights better than that though because the permanence of the stars and their unfathomable distance make me realize that it doesn't matter what I do, a thought which comforts me greatly as I go through life. My professors lately have been trying to convince me that I should throw in with the great mass of scholars who work for the betterment of "man" and I am always uncertain as to whether or not I should do so. One told me that he believes that he can do something permanent to further the lives of all people. Although I enjoy studying linguistics I cannot see myself studying it for this reason. For me it is an end unto itself.

Good sushi in Wilmington, followed by a good car crash in Wilmington. By good I mean: noone was hurt and I didn't have to perform medic-fu on anyone. It was cold, there was ice; I stopped in time and with space, the SUV did, then someone clobbered him for a little physics demonstration. In short order, someone hit that car as well, so there was some havoc factor.

It brought home some issues while I was sitting waiting for the nice policeman:

- The cheesy-ass flashlight that I carry is fine for finding stuff in the glovebox, but in no way would alert an oncoming car of peril. Flares never have dead batteries. Some of those really high intensity (15 minute) glow sticks are probably good to have, too.

- Cell phones are not the great Satan

- Some states ask for more than license and proof of insurance, the Texas norm.

- If you can, get the fuck out of the roadway.

- Call your parents more often, carpe diem, wear clean underwear and all that.

...It's Ibuprofen time.
Day log, 2/2/2001
Today was a typical Non-Payday Friday.

Today started out with me waking up to my pager going off every 10 seconds because our network monitor at work got disconnected. Since it uses email to page us, all that mail got queued up. I finally turned the pager off, but I was up and I figured I might as well go on into work.

Work wasn't much better. As our group organized for lunch, Sara called CR and agreed to tag along. I was happy to get to see her, but it's getting depressing to see more and more that she probably wasn't really interested in a relationship from the beginning. She wasn't really all that dressed up, but she was still beautiful. She was playing with CR a lot while at lunch. I think she is probably attracted to him; although he already has a girlfriend who is one of Sara's friends. He doesn't really seem interested in her though. What a mess.

I was kind of depressed for most of the rest of the workday. TC talked with me a bit and cheered me up some. She reminded me that I need to stop thinking about Sara and move on. I need to meet more people. I need to take some vacation days to find some social groups at the university or somewhere.

I drove around a while after work, trying to think of something to do with my friday night. I went by the college library and wandered around there for almost an hour. I went home and was bored so I decided I might as well go to the gym.

I flashed my BIOS and tried some stuff that previously made the machine do a spontaneous reboot and it didn't crash. We'll see. The cable went out so my brother played a tape, Final Destination. I hadn't seen it, so I watched it tonight.

It's getting late (early?). I don't have anything planned for tomorrow, but sunday is my birthday and I get to come in to work anyway. Kind of ridiculous in one way, but I really have nothing else to do. That's my life now; it's back at another low point. Basically, I'm working on my birthday because I couldn't come up with an excuse for something I'd be doing or someone I'd be with. Dammit I feel so lonely it's sickening.

What I've Learned:

My only advice is to not fall in love unless you're sure the object of your affection is at least attracted to you and has you on her list. Sara wasn't and isn't really interested in me as anything more than a friend; she is just a very affectionate person to everybody. I misinterpreted this and really burned myself out thinking that I finally found someone special who felt the same way about me. I dived in thinking it was all clear, and got myself all broken up when the pool was actually empty.

Friday was an odd day, to say the least. Standard school bullshit, from 7:15-1:45 I'm their whore and slave. Had a test in chem, which I most likely failed due to lack of effort. Spanish class was interesting. I'm talking to Kaylan again. Health class was lame, as usual. We watched a movie about fitting in in high school. Nice try, but you'll never know how tough it really is.

Stayed after to hang out with Sr. Defrancesco, Christian, Sid and Jay. We listened to some good music (I bring a mix tape every week) and played some games (Tikal, Mythos, the Wheel of Time)

So I got home around 4. Took a bit of a nap until Trojal called me at about 6 -- "There's a coffee house at Hendricken tonight, Ashley's going, so we should go too." Ashley, of course, being the girl he's into. So with a little planning, GirlsDontLikeMe, Trojal, and I went there. As Marc and I don't go to Hendricken, we weren't supposed to be let in. Fuck that -- we got in anyway.

The majority of the bands were terrible, but one Less Than Jake cover band was pretty cool, and Jordan's band covered some cool tunes by the Get Up Kids, Green Day, and Blink 182. Jordan also did a solo acoustic original song, with keyboard accompaniment by Tom.

The first girl who read poetry was very good. The second girl kinda sucked. Well, no, she really sucked. Worse than just bad teenage poetry, it was meaningless pissed off poetry that she wrote and still stumbled over the words and phrases.

Jamie got dumped, so I feel pretty terrible. They'd been together for 11 months and she was really upset. She refused all attempts at hugging at first, but when she finally gave in she hugged so hard it felt like she was going to fall apart if I let go.

Came home. Ate Chinese food and crashed.

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