I held this exact attitude at one point in my life. I wasn't rationalizing away my geekiness. I can't say who rejected who; I think it happened two ways at once.

I did not approach people; people did not approach me. I had a couple of years to hear my own thoughts.

I decided for the sake of surviving high school (this was later) to go the other route, at least as far as I could without losing myself entirely (though I probably lost a lot): I joined a couple of clubs and I met a couple of cute boys and gradually learned to have a normal conversation (I'd forgotten).

None of the new friends seemed as cool as my hipster penpals in faraway places (was I neurotic?), but I learned to pass the time happily with these basically complacent small-town girls and boys. I learned to look for common ground between myself and my perceived enemies.

I never met my soulmate,



I don't live where I used to live;

I've found a couple of kids who know me better, and love me better, than acquaintances of yore.

It's better this way, or to be alone. I don't have to keep so many secrets.