It´s already past midnight, so I guess the 24th, a new day, although still the old one for me. It´s very hot tonight and because the fact that I live right under the roof where the heat lingers and stays all day and night doesn´t make sleeping easier. A friend of mine just called me and we started talking about a book I had lent her and that she read in a day. She said it is one of the books that you read and that change you. I agree. It´s The Friendship by Connie Palmen,a Dutch writer. I absolutely love her books. But The Friendship is the book that touched me most and made me think about myself and my family. It´s strongly influenced by her own biography, as all of her books are. The Friendship is about addiction mainly. Why some people are addicted to drugs such as alcohol and others to food, the internal and the external, which is represented by the relationship of her/ the narrator and her best friend.

My friend tonight pointed out another passage that had got her thinking about how we react to our friends, that we always try to find faults in them, criticize them, gossip behind their backs in order to elevate ourselves, make ourself untouchable. It´s all protection so we are not the ones that can be hurt. I do that too. I think that most of the time I know exactly why I react the way I react, but sometimes I don´t want to know. Because it´s easier. Because I am not ready to know. Because I need more distance to my own actions to see clearly. I don´t know whether you know The Little Prince by Saint-Exupéry, but maybe you remember that passage where he meets the Old King that appoints him to be the justice minister, but the little prince tells him that he cannot stay on his planet he has to move on to save his rose, so the King has to let him go and tells him to judge himself, even though that is the hardest. I think I am somehow off my track ( if I ever was one one ).

My flatmate has gone to stay at her boyfriend`s place which is nice. I like to be alone in our flat, especially on nights like this.

Tonight it seems more than ever that time is not linear, actions ( the ones we can´t control and the ones we try to control ) overlapping..”Make me happier, make me forget the future”.