I ask you to be my judge
. Yours are the opinions I will listen to. It is the power over me that I have willingly given you - that I continue to give you.
I seem to remember I used to be in charge of my own emotions. I seem to remember I just didn't care what you thought. I seem to remember I was lonely.
Your world floods over mine. My identity may have once been my own cause. It now reacts and is formed and reformed by your every word, your every action. I change myself because you are my world. You replaced it.
Yet I must play. I cannot take this too seriously because you are too admired. I am afraid that you will be lost to me. I feel I must erect my defenses in case that day ever comes.
This world of yours that you have asserted upon me is so frustrating sometimes I want to return to the caves and run around hooting, club in hand, loin cloth flapping in the wind. Oh, to be free.
To be free and truly have you with me. I long.
To happier times. Cheers!