hosts a show on E!
, probably called The Howard Stern Show
, which appears to showcase women
who want Howard Stern
to cajole them into their underpants
and then comment on their bodies
The Howard Stern Women disturb
me. They are young and old, fat and thin, famous
and not so well known. There are a plethora
of strippers and porn stars
who show up there along with midwestern housewives
looking to have Howard
comment on their breasts
Can someone explain this to me?
I am completely clueless as to why all of these women would treat this guy like the most important judge at the Miss America
pageant. You aren't going to win anything. If it's a famous woman, or a porn star, he gushes on and on about how fabulous
and beautiful the woman is, while she sits on a bench with these massive ear muffs
on, giggling to accentuate her shiny pink lipstick
and perfectly white teeth. The strippers fare worse, they invariably end up mostly naked
while they are rated for their tits and ass.
"Those are wonderful breasts
. Are those real? Get out of here!! How long have you been dancing? Yeah, your knees
are pretty banged up, maybe you should do something about that ass."
What confuses me the most are the random women
, the 19 year old girls looking for affirmation, and the housewives
. They come into this studio, mullet
-haired husband or frumpy cousin in tow, with their white shoes and floral dresses.
"Howard, we love you. Do you think I should get a boob job
Who gives a care about what some talk radio host thinks about your boobs
?? What do you
think about them?? Howard says go for the silicone ones, they're firmer. While you're at it, why don't you take care of that belly, it's a little saggy. Howard also thinks that floral print dresses
are ugly, how about you quit wearing them? Howard's favorite actresses all have auburn hair
. Let's do something about that dishwater blonde
. Perhaps what these women need is a book to be published called "Howard Says." It would contain
all of the preferences of Howard Stern, so that these women wouldn't have to visit the show in order
to find out what they didn't really want to know in the first place.