Wrong, my friend! $50 will buy you a crabs, a mugging, or a quick trip to the precinct. Do not try to pick up streetwalkers, at least not in the US. That's not from personal experience, I'm smart enough to learn from other people's experiences.

Don't be cheap, first of all. It's no-bullshit, no-strings attached sex we're talking about here-- the most precious thing that anybody can give you, and at most prices still cheaper than so-called 'free' sex. Scrape together $200, plus maybe $50 or so for the tip. If you have more, have it around just in case. Check into a budget motel, and make sure to bring condoms, in case the escort you're about to call forgets hers. Now, call an escort service. You'll find them listed in the local phone book under 'escort service' or something similar, or in certain local newspapers (especially ones that cater to the friday night party crowd). Ask them to describe whom they have available, what the rates are, and when you can expect them to arrive at your location. Do not say anything that would incriminate them. They know why you're calling, and they'll get really paranoid if you tell them why you're calling. If you're not sure, you are allowed to ask whether they are full service, which is code language for 'You do more than just massage, right?'.

Just act normal when she shows up. Be polite, friendly, non-drunk, recently showered but dressed. Have the money lying discreetly on a nearby table; there is some sort of legal technicality that makes them edgy about taking money directly from your hand.

A hooker is just like any other woman (except for the fact that she is about to fuck you and not give you a hard time about it) so treat her just like you would treat any woman you know from school or work. You don't have to make conversation unless you feel like it-- let her do the driving. She'll ask you a few questions, partly to see if you're a cop. She'll quickly mumble the policies and pricing. Simply ask for everything, which is probably her blowing you for a while and then the two of you doing it. Indicate the money on the table to her. Once she has it, the awkward part of negotiations and payment is over. If you're observant, you'll notice her relaxing just a little. She'll tell you that you can get undressed, and she'll probably start undressing too. That's it! Just relax, enjoy, and thank your lucky stars that you belong to a gender whose basic needs can be satisfied in such a simple and straightforward manner.

I don't know what the rules are on wierd shit, other than to not automaticaly assume the girl you hired will do it for you. All I know about is how to get ordinary, vanilla, missionary-style nookie whenever I need it, and I'm happy with that. If you do want more info, the above was distilled from the following site: http://sex.perkel.com/escort/

mcSey: maybe not models, but yes, every last one of them has been well worth the money-- not only by being cute, but also by just being cool people. You get what you pay for.

Btw, if you live near the Canadian border, drive on over there. It's even less criminalized there than in the States, rates are cheaper ($180 USD) and ten times the selection of escort agencies. Plus, maybe it's just me, or maybe it's the popularity of wholesome outdoor activities, but the truly gross looking people are rarer there and that raises the average hotness level. Some escort services are even listed on the web-- http://www.janesguide.com/travel/travelguide.html, http://escorts-canada.com/frames.html