Fuck You General Public Disclaimer


Really. Think about it. Name one superhero that was neither Gay nor Deviant.

Except Mr. T.


Case and Point:



Batman
Deviant: In any one episode of the TV series, and, sometimes, the cartoon, Batman spends anywhere between five seconds and twenty minutes putting on a large, black, form-fitting rubber suit.
Gay : Robin. Enough said.
Gay: Batman, in all incarnations other than the original TV series, has a giant, twenty-foot-long, black phallic car.
?: The Bat Cave. Freudian Metaphor or Glorified Closet? The jury's still out on that one.
?: Has an aged man-servant who appears to be British. Cares for him deeply.

Green Lantern
Gay: Is extremely color-coordinated.
Gay: Wears spandex... all the time.
Gay: His power comes from jewelry.

Aquaman
Deviant: Can 'communicate' with fish.
?: Has gills.
Gay: Wears a tight full-body suit of sparkling scales.

Birdman
Deviant: Birdboy. Enough said.
Gay: Wears a skin-tight costume with feathers, wings, and a decidedly effeminate mask.
Deviant: Screams his own name before entering any room.

Wonder Woman
Lesbian: Comes from an island of amazons.
Deviant: Has an invisible airplane. Peek-a-Boo.
Deviant: Two Words: Golden Lasso
Deviant: Runs in High-Heels.

Penguin
Deviant: If you have to ask, you don't want to know. Well, on second thought, wouldn't you?

Superman
Gay: Spandex.
?: Fortress of Closetude?
Deviant: Super Speed = Super Friction.
?: Has not, until recently, hit on Lois Lane. Mayhap because of the above...
Gay: Jimmy, the paper boy.

The Incredible Hulk
Gay: Cut-Off jeans and green body paint. Prove me wrong.
?: Grows when excited.

Vision
Gay: Robots, by definition are all androgynous, being androgynous, they are all of one sex, now if they were to have conjugal relations, they would be having them with a creature or being of the same sex, would they not? I think that proves the point. Gay, Gay, Gay!


Should I go on?

Sorry for ruining your childhood.