Fuck You General Public Disclaimer
Really. Think about it. Name one superhero that was neither Gay nor Deviant.
Except Mr. T.
Case and Point:
Batman
Deviant: In any one
episode of the TV series, and, sometimes, the cartoon,
Batman spends anywhere between five seconds and twenty
minutes putting on a large, black, form-fitting
rubber suit.
Gay
:
Robin.
Enough said.
Gay:
Batman, in all
incarnations other than the original TV series, has a giant, twenty-foot-long, black
phallic car.
?:
The Bat Cave.
Freudian Metaphor or
Glorified Closet? The jury's still out on that one.
?: Has an aged man-servant who appears to be British.
Cares for him deeply.
Green Lantern
Gay: Is extremely
color-coordinated.
Gay: Wears
spandex... all the time.
Gay: His power comes from
jewelry.
Aquaman
Deviant: Can '
communicate' with fish.
?: Has
gills.
Gay: Wears a tight full-body suit of
sparkling scales.
Birdman
Deviant:
Birdboy. Enough said.
Gay: Wears a skin-tight costume with feathers, wings, and a decidedly
effeminate mask.
Deviant: Screams his
own name before entering any room.
Wonder
Woman
Lesbian: Comes from an island of amazons.
Deviant: Has an invisible airplane.
Peek-a-Boo.
Deviant: Two Words:
Golden Lasso
Deviant: Runs in
High-Heels.
Penguin
Deviant: If you have to
ask, you don't want to know.
Well, on second thought, wouldn't you?
Superman
Gay: Spandex.
?: Fortress of Closetude?
Deviant: Super Speed = Super
Friction.
?: Has not, until recently, hit on
Lois Lane. Mayhap because of the above...
Gay: Jimmy, the paper boy.
The
Incredible
Hulk
Gay: Cut-Off jeans and green body paint. Prove me wrong.
?: Grows when excited.
Vision
Gay:
Robots, by definition are all androgynous, being androgynous, they are all of one sex, now if they were to have
conjugal relations, they would be having them with a creature or being of the same sex, would they not? I think that proves the point. Gay, Gay, Gay!
Should I go on?
Sorry for ruining your childhood.