A Superburrito for Every Student!

I, like many other high school students, am a devoted bake sale patron. The products are relatively cheap, often homemade, and regardless will always satisfy that midday caffeine and sugar fix. I have grown to depend on their presence; if I ever forget to bring my lunch, rather than brave the perils of cafeteria food, I’ll head on over to that reliable table just outside the café. Apparently, this is becoming a widespread phenomenon, to the extent that my school cafeteria is running a large deficit. Hence the dilemma – the bake sales are simply too successful, and are luring students’ dollars away from the school. Rumor has it that my school administration is considering placing a ban on all bake sale activities.

So what is to be done? Perhaps we could place a tax on bake sale profits. However, not only would this drain needed funds directly from student run organizations, it would refuel the system that is providing everyone with that army surplus food to begin with. Also, the tax could prove to be counterproductive: clubs would be forced to have more bake sales to cover their expenses, and with more bake sales, who needs the café? So will the unfortunate students of BHS be compelled to suffer the hazards of the lunchroom? No need to despair, says our resident benevolent social planner.

Mr. Glaunigger, AP Economics teacher extraordinaire, proposes a solution that appeals to the school’s wallet and our taste budsOutsource to Anna’s Taqueria!

As we all know, cafeteria food is hardly appealing, and barely nutritious. So given any option whatsoever, whether bake sales, White Hen, or a top-secret Anna’s run, students will pass the tatertots for the alternative. Now, the school is probably not capable of improving the quality of the food, and has recently even had to raise the price of a meal by a full quarter. Thus, if the school had Anna’s or another highly economical yet tasty substitute cater to the cafeteria, it could very well be profitable.

Now technically, all food sold within a school receiving government aid must meet some basic nutrition standards. Bake sales ought to be illegal by government health codes, for the same reasons that our vending machines now only purvey those inedible baked potato chips and bland fruitsicles.

But Anna’s can most certainly be healthy! In one, say, grilled chicken quesadilla without any trimmings, all five major food groups are represented: grains (tortilla), vegetables (guacamole), fruits (tomatoes in the salsa),dairy (cheese and sour cream), and protein (chicken). All this for a mere $3.00, minus the bulk discount! Compare this to the $2.25 we shell out for spicy chicken burgers and mashed potatoes, (which incidentally only gives you protein and carbs…) Also, this arrangement wouldn’t be all that unusual for our school; Anna’s has catered many events, including the All-Night Party and sports dinners. But why stop there? Perhaps we could get a variety of prepared foods, such as Gregory’s, Redbones, and better salad options. With new consumers undoubtedly drawn into the school lunch market, the school could even charge a little more and turn a profit, part of which could subsidize free lunches.

In addition to the obvious benefits, having Anna’s cater would also loose some positive externalities on us all. Staffing needs would decrease, freeing up more money for better purposes. The number of illegal activities, such as desperate students running, driving, or tunneling off campus for food, would decrease. General hostility towards the school administration might be replaced with gratitude. As Mr. G sagely says, “more choice is better than less choice.” Well put, Mr. G. Well put.