Dear Stacy,
In the end we are only what we are. You are beautiful beyond what words can find the reason to define as beautiful. You are a muse, that much I've told you, but as you seek the elusive end game to the illusion of happiness I truly do wish you luck. There are, as you know, simply too many intangibles to make it as simple as it may sound on paper.
Sometimes the question comes up, whether it is in inane daily conversation or on a level that is similar to where we were tonight. Why do so many people feel compelled, comfortable or otherwise predisposed to telling me the details of their lives? If I could answer, I would, but as the Patron Saint of Waitresses and Female Bartenders I take enough solace in your explanation of how if I had bought you the shot on your tab rather than mine it would have been much cheaper. You have no idea how well I know this, and no idea what the reverse means to me. Ten years have gone since I had the ability to do the things I pretend I can still do, but in your eyes I see that I can still do it, and for this there is no price that can be too high. Realization is important to me. The present tense is important to me. You have given me back something I believed was lost. And we are not so far apart.
Never doubt yourself. You are as perceptive as you are beautiful and in these things there is little room for question, just as there is never enough room. Believe in what you question, for even though tragedy has been an element of your life, an element that causes you to doubt yourself, there are times when life takes us above and beyond. You may have this opportunity now and you must not question why. Perhaps later there will be reason to question, but for now you must fly on one wing with the faith you have in how things can be. If you crash and burn I can tell you that I will still be here to catch you. I would never want to deny anyone that chance at beautiful harmony with someone who is truly in tune, but sometimes...
Believe in yourself, above all, and know that I believe in you as well. You are better than the sum of your parts and although you've struggled, and you have faced down the demons that would destroy you, just surviving is enough to know that you are better. We are better. I am with you and from what you revealed to me tonight I will never believe that you are not capable of being more than the mortals would consign you to.
I found myself back in Orlando after a long journey that brought me face to face with complete ruin. Even if you face the same, I will continue to believe you are stronger than I am, and thus you will be better for this, whether it goes as you hope or ends in ways you cannot currently imagine.
And, if it means anything, I think I love you.
I still owe you a drink,
Keith