Jehovah's Witnesses always have an angle. The last time I had the privilege of dealing with them was a Saturday morning. I'd just enjoyed a yummy breakfast of homemade waffles and was in no mood to explain to these enthusiastic proselytizers why I thought Christian and Buddhist doctrines weren't mutually exclusive, or why I thought there were whole swaths of the bible that were clearly wrong, or why I thought knocking door-to-door for the purpose of anything besides selling candy bars for one's Little League Baseball team was both immoral and unethical.

So these kind fellows come to my door using the Teen Suicide angle.

"You know, there are a lot of problems facing today's youth. Did you realize that the second highest killer of teens today is suicide? These kids need guidance blah blah blah. . ."

Crap, I'm thinking. I don't want to be rude to these guys, but I don't have time to argue with them and I don't want their magazines. Wait! I know!

"Well, coming from a traditional Japanese upbringing as I do (A lie), I feel that suicide is a perfectly legitimate option in many cases. Honestly, I fail to see why a high suicide rate is an issue." Oh, this is too easy.

". . ." the Jehovah's Witness says. "Well, have a good day, sir," he manages.

"You too," I say cheerily.

And I wasn't even rude.