Dennis Leary once said that marijuana smoking often leads to carpentry. Now, anyone can make a bong, it's not that hard when you think about it. Smoking creatively is easy and enjoyable, and often strange. I thought I'd node some strange ways I've tried or heard of, to smoke. Maybe give some inspiration.


Now this is pretty easy, just roll it in something. But what you pick is very important, because most of the things you can roll it in, when you have no rolling papers, are disgusting to smoke. Ink tastes very bad. Nonetheless, here are some ideas:

Tobacco. A blizzunt, baby. Blunts are wonderful. If just for the amount of weed you're smoking. You cut a cigar down the middle, gut the tobacco, lick the paper and use it as a large rolling paper. You can get blunt wraps, but well, that's cheating. Honey and Cognac are known to add to the blunt effect. But you know that. Blunts are commonplace.

Bible Paper. I carry around a pocket size stoner's bible. Bible paper is thin enough that it rolls easy, and the bible has many pages with very little or no ink. Some people think they will go to hell if they smoke the bible. I make sure to read the page before I smoke it. It's kind of fun to think, "I'm smoking Genesis."

Banana leaves. I learned this in Honduras. If you pick banana leaves that are dying, preferably very recently dead, they are soft and pliable. Pick the leaf too late and they are brittle. Some people recommend soaking them for a couple hours. It rarely matters, if you mess up, you're surrounded by banana plants down there. I found these enjoyable, because you can make them whatever length you want, and they really do taste faintly like bananas.

Now when it comes down to it, you can wrap weed in anything. I've used toilet paper, newspaper, receipts. But it is disgusting. It tastes awful. You're not entirely getting high off weed, smoking ink is bad.


The Soda Can. Just dent the side of the can and poke some holes in it with a safety pin. This method is easy, and quickly disposable. Sometimes I still use it today. Usually when for some reason there is no other way. Smoking out of a soda can is disgusting. It tastes disgusting. It's very bad for you, I'm told. And it just feels quite depraved.

Fruit. You should use fruit with a core, using a pen or something about that thickness create a hole from the bottom of the fruit to the middle, where you make another in the side. You can cut some screen from a window if you really need it for the bottom. People say it flavors the weed, I've never tasted anything different. It's certainly interesting, and easy to conceal.

Now if you consider how to construct a corn cob pipe, you can see how to make a pipe out of anything stiff and tube-like. You basically make two tubes, one with openings like a flute instead of at both ends, and connect them. I like to use beeswax to connect them, because I'm a dirty hippy, and it feels safer. I've smoked out of corn this way, bamboo, and interestingly enough, marijuana. Using the stem of a pot plant, I smoked weed out of weed. Stoner masturbation.

Water Pipes

This is where most McGuyver stories come from, people constructing 15 foot 'death-bongs' that require 4 people to use. It's been my experience that over 3 feet will just hurt your lungs and in general falls into stoner masturbation. Most bongs can be made with a slide and a bowl, a female piece and a male piece. A cannibalized flashlight head can double as a bowl. With PVC or a soda bottle, or anything tubular with a base for water, you can make a bong. There are however other methods...

A Chalice. The holy Rastafarian smoking device. Get a coconut, and drill three holes in the top, I've used knives just turning them like a drill, that worked fine. Then use bamboo to create a bowl that reaches low enough to utilize the coconut milk and high enough to pack weed into. Then use more bamboo as a mouth piece off the top. The third hole is for the carb, to clear the chamber of smoke.

Gravity. Simple, use nature to your advantage. Get a soda bottle, cut off the bottom, cut a whole in the cap to fit the bowl, as airtight as possible. Then load the weed in the unscrewed cap, put the soda bottle in some greater body of water, cap facing up, screw on the cap, and light the weed. Bring the bottle up so the air goes through the weed, making smoke in the bottle. When the bowl's finished, unscrew the cap and put your mouth to the bottle, breathing in as you push the bottle down. This hurts. I've seen people puke off gravity hits, I've seen people's teeth turn yellow with resin, but more importantly, I've seen and been really high with nature to blame.

You can be creative about the water, I always enjoyed taking hits off lakes or the ocean. A friend of mine used the bottom of a lamp as a bowl, attached to a trash can, and stuck about an ounce of weed in it, using it as a gravity bong in a swimming pool. Because of the amount of smoke, trying to inhale it would be ridiculous. So he and his friends would swim under and stick their heads in the chamber for a while, taking turns. You can also make a dry gravity bong, where you attach a 2 gallon plastic bag to the bottom of a soda bottle, pulling the bag out to draw the air through the weed. I've never tried this myself, but I'm told lungs can hold 2 gallons of air, and this provides the biggest hit your body can take. Sure-fire ways to get destroyed.

There are any number of ways to inhale THC, using a heat gun in a bong can vaporize the weed, you can use a light bulb as a vaporizer, but I've never done that. You can take knife hits, putting two knives on an electric stove till they turn red, you use one to touch the weed. It sticks to the knife, then you use the other to squeeze the weed, the smoke is inhaled by someone with a soda bottle with the bottom cut out, to be sure you get all the smoke. But while all of these are interesting, and provide some novelty entertainment, I usually stick to glass pieces. It tastes better, is safer, and looks beautiful. Some of these methods will get you really fucked. So I still use them also. Basically, if you are sitting there wondering how you can smoke that bag you just bought when your piece just broke, or are just bored with your little metal piece, there's always another way.