Ten years. Makes it kinda suck that the top of the bell curve of enjoyment of those ten years for me was the first day. But that's not what I'm talking about right now. This node is to simply express all the things I learned from Boy Scouts in an honest and thorough manner. Allow me to make an unordered list:
- How to make fire. Starting a fire with flint and steel is not hard. I promise. This is something anyone that has been a Boy Scout should know unless they were sleeping the entire time they attended anything associated with the Boy Scouts of America.
- How to put up a tent. If this were an Olympic event, I would be a contender. I can throw any kind of tent up very quickly.
- How to cook camping food. Anything from turtles in armor (hamburgers in foil) to shish-kabobs, we cooked anything we could find in our mess boxes. Hell, I remember a period of time when we had a grub tent. A grub tent!
- Canoing. I can work a canoe. This is a hefty statement to say and not lie about.
- How to use various sharp objects. I learned the right way to use a pocket knife, an axe, a saw, whatever. If it was wood, we cut it.
- First aid. Holy fuck this was my thing. Back in my prime, if anyone were to be fortunate enough to cut off their hand, go into shock, pop a case of hypothermia, and be near me, I'd reattach the hand and treat them for shock faster than the hypothermia disappeared via my synchronous treatment for that. I was really good with first aid. I liked it a lot. I used to want to be a doctor. First aid meets were fun for me. All that fake blood...
- Knots. I mean really. I used about two of the twenty or so knots we had to learn in actual practical situations. That was a bit of a waste of time I think, but they are fun once you get to know them.
- Making a fire is useless unless you can build a fire. Building a fire is an architectural skill, and it has been one of my biggest secret hobbies for years now. I can build a bonfire out of fucking green grass. It's fun.
- Everything you ever wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask. It's BOY scouts; what do you want? Horny fucking teenagers. I said honest and thorough.
- Card games. I am good at poker. Why? I learned from the sneakiest bastard old men you could ever meet. They played cards rough. I adapted.
- Backpacking. I hate, but know how to hike with a pack. Like mad. We were basically trained to pack things tight and pack things light. We were also very prone to skipping the hike and just kicking it in the forest. heh. See? Things I like happened too.
- Other: basketweaving, archery, sharpshooting, food drives, pilgrimages, hiking, carving, digging toilets, flag raisings, fishing, water retrieval, sick jokes, how to keep very warm (clothing layering), non-knot rope skills, caving, dutch oven cooking, hot glue as an alternative to sewing, and billions of other intricate and small things that need no mentioning.
. I sound pretty conceited
. Well, all of this is true
, so conceit
might not be the case. I did find good things in scouts
, despite the fact that I think being an Eagle Scout means nothing anymore.
That is but a miniscule
part of the life-long experience
that is scouting
. Now I sound like the goddamn handbook