What I told myself every morning of my life after I began to have
sexual thoughts. I would get up, take a shower,
masturbate to sexual thoughts about men, and then repeat over and over to myself after I finished, "I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I just happen to think about men while I masturbate.
How could I be gay when I'm so normal?"
Let's just say that it was a long road until I was able to say to myself one of those times, "I'm gay," out loud to myself. It felt liberating, but it felt terrifying.
And now, I'm all the better for accepting myself.