My dreams last night were filled with hot countries and camels. First I dreamed that I accidentally took a trip to India with my ex-boyfriend. See, my ex-boyfriend is an actor and in this dream, he wanted to break into Bollywood. I told him he'd never make it there because he couldn't sing.

While in India, I wasn't allowed to leave the hotel room, which was weird, but I didn't want to be there anyway. I was feeling guilty because I am married and my husband hates my ex-boyfriend the actor. At some point my brother shows up at my hotel room in India. He says that he has told my husband where I am and that I am in trouble. I tell him that I am not in trouble because I haven't done anything wrong, that I have been kidnapped to India while my ex-boyfriend tries to break into Bollywood. I don't even like this ex-boyfriend and I haven't slept with him, I say to my brother. He says it doesn't matter because Scoresby, my husband, is furious and has already started biting himself. I get so mad. How could my brother let Scoresby bite himself this whole time, during his whole flight to India? To this my brother says, "Don't worry, I jumped here, it only took a minute." I call Scoresby and tell him to stop biting himself and he says it is too late, that he has already eaten a huge chunk from his leg.

Magic zoom into the future where Scoresby and I are fine, but are in the middle of a terrorist attack. For some reason, there are famous people who I don't know living in my apartment and someone has decided to bomb it. There is a crazy chase and a brave escape, but the whole thing is made very difficult by the fact that I have a tiny camel. Yes, a tiny white camel. He is the size of a toy poodle, but he is a camel and he is white and furry and mad at me. I had somehow packed him in a box for 5 years and when I let him out, I thought he would be dead, but he wasn't. So, he was mad and hungry. He kept biting me. I would say to people, wanna see my tiny camel and they would say no and I would show them anyway. I tried feeding him apples and celery but I didn't really know what such a tiny camel would want to eat. At one point, while running from the terrorists, I remembered I had put the tiny camel in my pocket. I reached in and he was nearly dead, since he couldn't breathe in there.

I don't know what happened next, but when I woke up I told Scoresby all of this because it was all so weird. He reminded me what he thinks of dreams. That only your own dreams are interesting to you and while I thought the tiny camel was fascinating, it in fact, was not. I thought I'd just warn him to watch out for the whole biting himself thing and he thanked me for the warning with a sleepy smile.