For several months now, I've had this fantasy about camping out on the roof of the local K-Mart. It all started when I worked for the Pizza Hut right across the parking lot. I accompanied the manager up onto our hot tin roof to help replace a belt on our air conditioner, and I noticed that the roof of the nearby K-Mart had a very interesting topography. The "Big K" sign effectively makes a wall on the front of the building, while the roof is split-level with the back end higher than the rest. There are many vents sticking up from the surface. My first thought was that it would be an ideal place to hide the body on the off-chance that I should ever kill someone.

Not long after that night, I was working a closing shift, taking out the trash at 1:30 a.m. It's a weird feeling to be in a large shopping plaza after everything is darkened and deserted--a good weird. Every once in a while, I get hungry for a surreal experience. I thought, "One of these nights, I'm going to camp out on top of that K-Mart."

I'm not sure when it happened, but eventually that idle thought evolved into a plan. My friend C owns a pickup truck. I own a big ladder. My other friends S and J would probably be happy to keep us company, and I'm pretty sure S still has a He-Man sleeping bag that we could laugh at. It would be a simple matter to drive up in the truck, grab the ladder, run to the alley between K-Mart and the instant bingo hall next door, climb up, and pull the ladder after us. Then, just relax and enjoy a view that few will ever (want to) have. K-Mart has the high ground in this relatively flat area. There's a very large array of identical condos below to the south, and a great big empty parking space at that shopping plaza and the one across the street. If we manage to not attract the night watchman's attention, the only way we could be spotted would be by a police helicopter, which our town most certanly doesn't have. The most difficult part of the plan would be lowering the ladder back down to a stable position. God forbid we should drop it completely.

Whenever I get an idea like this, I know I'll have to see it through or I won't be able to die happy. When I do, I'll be sure to post an update, though there's a good chance you'll hear about it first in the police blotter. Doubtless many of you are wondering just what would be the point of all this. Maybe in some future writeup I'll come up with a satisfactory explanation for the desire that I have to explore, and see from a new perspective. Until then, I hope you find your imagination stimulated by this little plan.

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