Ok, here we go with my first Dream Log. Before describing it, I want to make a few things clear: 1) I made the daring choice of watching the movie 'Donnie Darko
' before going to bed, 2) my life is pretty messed up at this point, as I am standing between a heap of choices concerning my future, and 3) I have had sleeping problems lately, causing me to flicker between waking and sleeping when trying to get a nights rest. All these may explain the weirdness of this dream.
The 'dream' is more a bunch of segments occuring in a single night of restless sleep. I will try to keep them chronological
, but it may not succeed 100%. Also, just to play My Own Psychiatrist
, I will make comments of what may cause some parts of the dream, in (italic paranthesis)
. I am the first to admit the GTKY
-content of these, but I'll take my chances.
What seems to be the start of the dream is a metallic platform, surrounded by a heaven full of glittering stars. I can see myself standing very close to the edge of it, knowing (but not seeing) that there is a rather deep drop in front of me. One step and I'd be history. I am talking to someone or something, apparently having a deep, yet relaxed discussion about something. Whoever I am discussing it with must either be intangible or hanging in free air in front of me, but I do not see it in the dream. It has an electronically mumbled voice (like the rabbit Frank in Donnie Darko
). At some point, I reach out in front of me, opening a (previously invisible) door, hanging in the air above the steep drop in front of the platform. I immediately step through.
Switch to Big City environment, people walking all around me in a busy street. I am looking for something, or someone. I am either a bit angry, very tired or just getting impatient about the whole thing; I can see it in my face, and I have that annoyed buzz in me. At some point, I whip out a rather large book, with a colored cover and the word NO written in big, white letters on it (the book might be related to a textbook I am currently using to write the political science node; apart from the 'NO', it looks like it)
. I study the front cover, apparently reading (my eyes follow text-like lines, though there is only the big 'NO' on it). It seems to provide me with answers, because I immediately afterwards increase my pace, heading through the crowd.
At this point, there is a loud noise, like a crash or an explosion, somewhere in the crowd. I briefly stop, looking back towards the noise, but my view is blocked by people (for some reason, in the dream, I see all this from above, at a slight distance). I grow angry at the textbook, clearly blaming it for my troubles (I am currently deciding whether or not to engage in a project of writing textbooks, called Textbooks for Humans. My desire to do the project is causing me serious moral, planning and maybe even financial problems, which might explain the textbook being blamed for bad things)
. I stand for a while, trying to decide whether to go help anyone possibly involved in an accident or whatever the noise was, but I dislike the thought of maybe being needed (I am ex-civil defense, giving me a moral obligation to providing first aid or similar assistance in crisis situations. However, since having located a week-old suicide victim in my building, I have had a fear of ever needing my training again. Clearly this is related)
Finally, I see large machines through the crowd, which somehow tells me that the situation is being taken care of. However, while watching, I notice people in the crowd that somehow disturb me. I hear the electronically mumbled voice saying 'Yes' in a very satisfied manner, and I start chasing the disturbing people through the crowd.
(I think I woke briefly around this point, but the dream seems to have continued after falling back to sleep) Somehow, I have chased the disturbing people to a dark place, some sort of medieval fortress or castle. I am outside, having thrown myself into some bushes by the wall near the gate (I dont know why; there is no one around). I have an odd sensation, being doubtful of what I am actually doing (Some years ago, I briefly had the talent of realizing when I was dreaming, and waking myself up by slapping me across the face in the dream. I think this is the same sensation, though I do not wake myself this time)
I roll under (??) the castle wall and find myself in dark, moist, cramp corridors. I chose this way because I know it (The corridors are a perfect copy of some barred off corridors I sneaked down into in an old fortress tourist attraction in Cartegena, Columbia, several years ago. Why they are in this particular castle, I dont know)
I have a torch lighting my way (it just appeared, I guess, because there are none on the walls), and I go down, deeper and deeper (in the real-world corridors, I went down very deep, but found them flooded at their deepest, and had to turn back)
. Finally, there is a man-sized, arched wooden door, with no particular markings, but a small, round window. I see light from the other side, but the window is too worn to see clearly through.
I open the door and step into a large, lit room. It looks like a hallway corner in a huge mansion. There is a large painting on the wall just before the corner (weird fact: This exact place occured in a very old dream of mine, one of the few I can remember. Only back then, the place was full of old friends; I don't know the people inhabiting it in this dream)
. I examine the painting. It is painted by someone with an unpronounciable name (Ixchvutl Mnuhjkli or something in that fashion). For some reason, I take out the textbook again, comparing the name, but the book suddenly turns to dust and disappears. This does not seem to astound me. Then I notice the 'disturbing people' walking around the room. They wear hooded robes, beaten and leathery, and gas masks cover their faces (I actually believe this sort of look was used for a Star Wars character in a brief scene. I may have it from there)
. When they see me, one says 'uh-oh' in a radio-like electronic voice (Again, this matches the Star Wars alien)
. They then run in all directions, though no one present seems to take any notice of it (then again, nobody looked twice at the oddly dressed people, though the dress code seems 1920ies upper class youth).
Skip to castle wall. I am pursuing one or more of these hooded weirdoes (weird fact II: This also matches the old dream, except I was the one being chased by a shadowy figure back then. The old dream has always lurked in my mind, but to have it reappear in bits is outright freaky)
. He(?) jumps down from the wall (inwards, not outwards!) and lands beside a door only a few feet below me (in the old dream, I actually made a string of lightbulbs go out before running in through a similar door. Slight difference)
. I make a pretty impressive jump and go straight through the same door.
At this point, the dream blurs. I think I must have woke up briefly again, but the continuation got scrambled. I have two seperate versions of what came next, both hazy. In Version A, the door leads into some industrial hall, with machines everywhere, fixing other big machines (I think vehicles, mainly). The walls are solid rock, and the ceiling is very high, which makes it impossible architecture compared with the castle. I think I forgot to chase the weirdo any further and somehow started talking to mechanics about all sorts of machinery. It seems to have ended with me leaving through a small door leading to a cliffside above extensive jungle forest (the blurred images in my mind match those I saw in Latin America. I have been meaning to go back, but my life has kept me from doing so. There may be some significance in that)
. I remember nothing more.
Version B has the door leading into a large library. Again, the architecture is too big to match the castle's. This time, I continue chasing the figure, nearly ripping the whole place apart in the process. He leaves through an open window, me following him. Outside, there is nothing but a long fall, straight into a large waterfall's lake. For a brief glimpse, I actually experience the dream from my own view (having seen it almost as a film till now), as I go below the water and fight my way up to the surface, only to find myself climbing out of a decorative pool at my old university! I walk around, soaked to the bone, and everybody keeps running away. I get mad and start throwing water at any faculty I meet (I simply fling it from my wet clothes), shouting incoherent babble at them (I started my work with improved teaching methods in response to poorly taught courses at the university, which may account for my actions towards the teachers in this dream)
. The last I can recall is having walked home (I used to do that often, though it was a 5 kilometer walk)
, showing up in front of my building drenched and muddied (and my sleeves unnaturally long for some reason). I grab the door, hear the voice from back at the platform in the beginning calmly say 'No', and the building sinks into the ground, disappearing in a cloud of dust and dirt (I have decided not to live here for more than 6 months more, but find it hard to figure out where to go instead. My desire to leave may explain the house disappearing like that)
. In my usual odd way, I simply think "Aw, dammit!", and the dream ends.
It has been very long since I last tried to write down a dream. I often have weird ones, though much shorter. This is the weirdest one yet, though, along with the one it took bits from (the old dream at the castle). I hope I'll make some sense of it...