Just remember... the whole point of these is to be as rude, crude, and dirty as possible. I mean, you're drinking! Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for a turkey...
A turkey from the store? (pause)
A turkey she wanted, stuffed she got!
I don't work there anymore!

Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for a screen door...
A screen door from the store? (pause)
A screen door she wanted, slammed she got!
I don't work there anymore!

Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for a twinkie..
A twinkie from the store? (pause)
A twinkie she wanted, my cream filling she got!
I don't work there anymore!

Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for some help...
Some help from the store? (pause)
Help she wanted, AIDS she got!
I don't work there anymore!

Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for a front door...
A front door from the store? (pause)
A front door she wanted, back door she got!
I don't work there anymore!

Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for a lobster...
A lobster from the store? (pause)
A lobster she wanted, crabs she got!
I don't work there anymore!

Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for a rooster...
A rooster from the store? (pause)
Rooster she wanted, my cock she got!
I don't work there anymore!

Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for some roofies...
Some roofies from the store?(pause)
Roofies she wanted, eh... she left the next morning
I don't work there anymore!

Oh...I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store.
I used to work in Chicago;
I don't work there anymore.

A lady came in for a hot dog...
A hot dog from the store?(pause)
Hot dog she wanted, my tube steak she got!
I don't work there anymore!

More when I can remember/make up more of 'em...


Geez... I was just trying to shorten this by leaving out the repetitive stuff... but if that's what you guys want...