Egg Synthesis


Scene is a bar

Man is sitting in at the bar, writing furiously on a napkin; the is bartender serving drinks. There is an empty barstool to the right of the man

A woman enters stage right

Woman: Hey hot stuff, wanna buy me a drink?

Man doesn’t look up from his work

Man: Er...

Woman sits down
Man is still working

W: What’s your name?
M: ...George

A pause, man is still working

W: My name is Angela
M: Oh...
W: What are you working on?

Man gets excited and starts talking rapidly to the woman

M: Well, everyone says they are good at making eggs, right?
W: Ye-
M: I mean, eggs, they are incredibly easy to cook, except maybe eggs hollandaise, but scrambled eggs, come on!
W: Well, even my ex-boyfriend could make scrambled eggs
M: Uh right, well the thing is, people don't make eggs; chickens do. This will change with egg synthesis!

Man stands up, holds out his hands, as if looking towards the future

W: What do you mean?
M: I mean, I'm working on a way to artificially create an egg!
W: Have you got it up and running yet?

Woman raises eyebrows seductivly


M: I'm still working on it. The hardest part is pouring the shell, it doesn't dry properly; it just remains opaque sticky goo..
W: Well you know, I have an egg you could try pouring your sticky goo on.

Woman puts hand on man's knee, man ignores her

M: No no, I wouldn't want to ruin your egg. Every time I pour a shell, green slime always emits from the egg and it develops a crusty surface. My sticky goo needs a different mixture of bacteria

Woman looks disgusted

W: To think, I was going to fuck you...