Stuff I realised today....

  1. My ex girlfriend probably lost all interest in me months before she actually dumped me.
  2. Diagnosis Murder is probably under-rated.
  3. Girls are fucking nuts! Based on my ex girlfriend, my mates ex girlfriend and this other bird I know.
  4. Girls probably like giving head much more then they let on (or is this just wishful thinking?).
  5. Corporations would prefer to employ mechanical robots (nah those other type of robots) then living breathing people with feelings, emotions, ambitions, and lives outside of Omnicorp.
  6. Interview questions like "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" or "what are your weaknesses?" are completely fucking pointless. Mainly because I can't think up a good answer to them. No I haven't got any weaknesses = I look like a smug git / liar. Or I say.....yeah Im lazy, my punctuation is terrible, I don't take responsibility for the many mistakes I make, I usually pilfer all I can carry from the stationary cupboard, I occasionaly bring in a loaded sawn off shotgun just in case the boss pisses me off, the working part of my life is the least important to me, and people usually find it impossible to get along with me.
  7. Beautiful people on Tv or in glossy magazines are probably caked in make-up and shot with soft focus camera lenses.
  8. The only way I'm going to make a decent amount of money in life is by growing waccy baccy.
  9. My criminal record for using the wrong train ticket once upon a time will probably prevent me from all the jobs that I might actually have some interest in.
  10. I'm skinnier then I previously thought
  11. I'm the only person on this planet to get spots the size of Jupiter on his back a couple of days before I have to go swimming.
  12. The fact that I can't stop thinking about my ex girlfriend should not be taken to mean that I love her, and is rather a more general need to have someone in my life who I can love and loves me back (get me a sickbag).
  13. The girl at the gym who is fucking gorgeous probably has a boyfriend already, or is a carpet muncher.
  14. I'll never get botoxed because I enjoy frowning at people too much.
  15. The fact that me and my mate communicate with each other through a variety of film and tv quotes, (mainly from Arnie films) is slightly worrying.
    • C'mon...dont bullshit me = dont lie to me man!
    • Your clothes....give them to me = insert whatever you want given to you where "clothes" is, and say it like Arnie.
    • Did you call moir a dipshit? = insert whatever the person just called you in place of dipshit

......and so on.