My life has spiraled out of my control, and I couldn't see through my own denial.
All hell broke loose a few weeks ago within my (quite) little circle of friends, and I was so desprate for stability that I created some in my head. I thought she was there for me because she cared, but I guess I was wrong. She's grown quite distant, and has openly expressed interest in others - but I was oblivious.
On other fronts, I got ShowEQ working on my i-Opener finally... Redhat 7.0 is a bitch when you're trying to compile programs for the first time. Fuck dev-CVS glibc's. I compiled about a dozen different kernels on my i-Opener just to get the USB ethernet working. I got my EQ character to level 31 - finally outta hell.
I evidentally contributed to the rapid disruption of The Way Things Were (tm) in my group of friends. How? Simply by not being around... What can I do now?
I need an infusion, but my insurance is dragging it's feet. Every day I feel weaker and more sickly. It's hard to keep going with my life, and I haven't been to work for over a week. This is complicated by the fact that my life as I know it is falling apart around me, and I'm resisting the urges to disapear into my own little world. I've even considered recreational drug use for the first time in my life - pretty much because I don't feel I'll be around much longer to enjoy life anyway. Oh well.. My health's not that bad yet.
I've been away from the e2 community for quite some time... Never really got into it too deep to begin with, but I enjoy using it as a public life log among other things. Contribution is one of my favorate things, and I hope I can contribute more to the nodegel in the future.
For now, as long as my life is shattered by my own inability to keep up Everything 2 may just have to remain a lifelog. When I get the time to add meaningful nodes, then I will...
Until then... Well... Later. ;)