Walkers crisps, whilst extremely pleasant especially when supplied in large bags in the pub, are the bane of all instinctive crisp buyers in Britain today. They have made one fundamental error... Salt and Vinegar and Cheese and Onion are the wrong colours!

As comedian Harry Hill points out, "It's green for cheese and onion, blue for salt and vinegar!" Indeed, that is the way it is done by everyone else, and for once confomity is good because that is the way it should be done. Walkers fly in the face of tradition with their blue cheese and onion and their green salt and vinegar.

To explain my position further, you need to see that, for me:

Blue = Seaside = Salt and Vinegar
Green = erm... mouldy cheese = Cheese and Onion

There, it's simple. Conclusive, logical, watertight proof.


It's interesting to note that even the tabloid newspapers agree with me and Harry Hill on this issue, albeit they think it's because of European legislation to standardise the colours of packaging across Europe. This is of course a myth perpetuated by staunchly nationalist press - just like the stories about standard curves for bananas.

Further reasons not to buy Walkers crisps (if you can get over the fact that they're pretty tasty), are that their cheese and onion flavour isn't vegetarian and that they're advertised with a particularly irritating no more Mr. Niceguy campaign, fronted by former England footballer Gary Lineker.