July 15, 2020:
"Shocking news from Washington, D.C. tonight, as the Washington Post reports that Supreme Court nominee Ronald Wayne Thackerton, named to replace Stephen Breyer on the nation's highest court, has been accused of murder. The alleged incident took place when Thackerton was a high school student. We go now to Jonathan Karl for more on this breaking story."
"David, Thackerton is accused of murdering 14-year-old Rebecca Johnson at a party when he was an 18-year-old senior in high school. Thackerton was questioned extensively by police in 1987, but no charges were filed. The police chief at the time released a statement saying he didn't want to --quote -- 'destroy this promising young man's life.' Neither Thackerton nor the president have commented on this new development yet, but Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee say they intend to question Thackerton closely about these allegations during next Wednesday's hearings."
July 17, 2020:
"More disturbing news concerning Supreme Court nominee Ronald Wayne Thackerton tonight. Former Yale classmates have told CBS News that six different deaths were tied to Thackerton during his years at the university. Our correspondent Major Garrett is live in New Haven, Connecticut."
"Jeff, some of the deaths allegedly connected to Thackerton were said to be unusually brutal. Stella Martendale, Thackerton's college girlfriend, was beheaded in 1988; her head was never found. And Fiona Channings, a freshman who hailed from Thackerton's hometown, was missing for over a decade before her remains were discovered buried in the basement of a house Thackerton had lived in as a first-year law student."
Senate Judiciary Committee hearing
July 20, 2020:
SEN. AMY KLOBUCHAR (D-MN): "Judge Thackerton, would you please discuss your frame of mind when you learned of these accusations."
JUDGE RONALD WAYNE THACKERTON: "I'm not comfortable discussing these matters without wearing my second face."
SEN. KLOBUCHAR: "I'm sorry? Your what?"
(JUDGE THACKERTON PLACES BURLAP BAG OVER HEAD, LOOKS AT COMMITTEE THROUGH CRUDELY CUT EYEHOLES)
SEN. KLOBUCHAR: "Judge Thackerton, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but--"
JUDGE THACKERTON: "That is not my name. I am Mr. Stitches. You will call me Mr. Stitches."
SEN. KLOBUCHAR: "What the hell is this."
SEN. CHUCK GRASSLEY (R-IN): "Senator Klobuchar, do you wish to yield your time?"
SEN. KLOBUCHAR: "Oh, fuck no. Judge Thackerton, did you kill Rebecca Johnson on April 28, 1987?"
JUDGE THACKERTON: "You will address me as Mr. Stitches. You will address me as Mr. Stitches!"
SEN. KLOBUCHAR: "Fine. Mr. Stitches, did you kill Rebecca Johnson on April 28, 1987?"
JUDGE THACKERTON: "I have killed no one. I have merely... entrapped their souls for my heavenly temple, where they shall serve me through eternity."
SEN. LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-SC): "I object to this process! Never in all my years on this committee have I seen a nominee so abused! What you want to do is destroy this guy's life, hold this seat open and hope you win. I cannot imagine what you and your family have gone through!"
SEN. KLOBUCHAR: "His first wife has been missing for almost 20 years."
SEN. GRASSLEY: "Order, please. Order!"
Fox News, "Hannity"
July 21, 2020:
"Can you believe this nonsense from the Democrat Party? They're objecting to a mask? Do they not realize that millions of little, innocent children across this great nation wear masks every Halloween? Do they think none of these children are worthy of being a Supreme Court Justice in the greatest nation on the face of the Earth?"
July 21, 2020:
"This is another example of the war on white men in this country. Do they really intend to hold us all accountable for stuff we did in high school and college decades ago? It's a standard no one can meet!"
July 22, 2020:
"Big Ron is still my guy! Love his attitude, love his fire! Dumb Democrats can only obstruct! Never lead! Must get Thackerton on the court to #MAGA! Get it done, GOP! We won't wait any longer! Stitches is my guy too!"
July 23, 2020:
"Polling makes it clear -- Republican voters more enthusiastic for Thackerton than ever and are vehement that they'll punish the party if he's not confirmed. Sad to say, but simply no point in delaying or obstructing any longer. The Senate must confirm or face electoral doom."
Trump campaign rally
July 25, 2020:
"Can you believe this nonsense? Let me ask you, can you believe this nonsense? Who's this girl, Rebecca Johnson, was that her name? A 14-year-old girl, and she's at a party for high school kids? Fourteen, you hear me? You know what they say about those girls, right? Probably got what she deserved, if you ask me. You gotta protect your sons. Protect your men! Am I right? These people are looking for any way to shatter a man's life. Just shatter a man's life. Evil people, that's what they are. That's why we gotta get Big Ron on the court. And hey, you get Mr. Stitches, that's two votes for me, am I right? Mr. Stitches, what a guy. I love him. I love him."
July 26, 2020:
"Slaves in heaven? Call me selfish, but sign me up for that."
Question: On the Nomination (Confirmation Ronald Wayne Thackerton, of Nevada, to be an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States)
Vote Date: July 27, 2020, 11:31 AM
Required For Majority: 1/2
Vote Result: Nomination Confirmed
February 7, 2021:
"This recent string of disappearances of judicial aides, clerks, and even attorneys at the United States Supreme Court Building has culminated in the reported death yesterday morning of Associate Justice Samuel Alito, who was found dead in a hallway outside his office. A formal cause of death has not yet been announced, but an anonymous source has told NBC News that Justice Alito may have been stabbed multiple times by his assailant."
New York Times
February 8, 2021:
"All eyes are now on the White House as the nation waits to hear who President Trump will nominate to take Justice Alito's place on the high court. Judicial insiders expect Trump to nominate any of a number of judges recommended by the conservative Federalist Society, but the Wall Street Journal has reported that one of the associate justices on the court has sent his own list of suggestions to the president as well."
February 10, 2021:
"An unprecedented nomination for the Supreme Court today -- a man who isn't a judge and has no experience in the judiciary. Donald Trump's nomination of Harvey Willett, Jr. of Waterloo, Iowa sent shockwaves around the political world here in Washington, D.C. More on this story from our own Pete Wiliams at the Supreme Court Building."
"Lester, you really aren't kidding about shockwaves. I haven't talked to anyone yet who can really believe this nomination. Apparently, Trump chose Mr. Willett because he was personally recommended by the newest member of the court, Justice Ronald Wayne Thackerton. We're waiting on an official biography from the White House, so at this point, we don't know how qualified he may be for a position on the court."
News conference by Police Chief Dale Eggeland
February 11, 2021:
"We are continuing to investigate the murders committed by the individual who's been dubbed the Red Ribbon Killer by the press. That's not a name our investigators use -- it is a nickname which is popular with the press. But Mr. Willett is considered a person of interest. That's correct. It would be my hope that he would not be appointed to the Supreme Court, of all damn things, until our investigation is complete. Sorry, sir, can you repeat? No, no, I certainly can't comment about that yet. But we would prefer that this not move forward until our investigation is complete."
Trump campaign rally
February 12, 2021:
"Did you hear this guy, Chief Eggy in Iowa? That's his name, right, Chief Eggy? It's what I call him anyway. Well, Chief Eggy doesn't like Harvey Willett, can you believe it? Listen, I've heard all this stuff about Harv being the Red Ribbon Killer, and you know what it is? It's fake news. That's right, fake news, the fakest of the fake. And even if he was, I'd want him on the Supreme Court anyway. Big Ron and Mr. Stitches, remember them? They love Harvey, and I love him, too."
February 13, 2021:
"Snowflake libs can't handle a couple serial killers running the Supreme Court? Afraid they're gonna murder your precious special interests? #LockHerUp #InADungeon"
February 13, 2021:
"True Christians know there's nothing in the Bible saying God's chosen servant can't be a killer. We have faith that Harvey Willett will be the Lord's hand where it is needed most: dispensing holy judgment against liberals and sinners."
April 7, 2021:
SHEPARD SMITH: "Breaking news this hour in Washington -- it appears seven -- wait, Carole, is this correct? Is this correct or--? Okay, apparently, seven of the nine members of the Supreme Court are dead this afternoon. Authorities say they were... Just a moment, let me read this... With knives? Was it the psycho killers? It was the psycho killers, wasn't it. Oh, fuck this fucking country, oh my god."
(CUT TO COMMERCIAL)
April 7, 2021:
NICOLLE WALLACE: "Okay, we've just received a list of, I think this is seven new nominees to the Supreme Court? Really? I mean, it's like they had this list ready to go. I don't recognize any of the names. But I'm sure we'll... Is this list dated yesterday? Is this list actually dated April 6th? Are you fucking kidding me?"
(CUT TO COMMERCIAL)
News conference by David Bowdich, deputy director of the FBI
April 8, 2021:
"Jason Tennerleigh is probably the Salt Creek Slayer. Oscar Witherspoon fits the descriptions given by several eyewitnesses of the man dubbed the Western Railroad Strangler. We've interviewed both Wayne Warlons and Leonard Angford extensively about their connections to the deaths of four prostitutes in Los Angeles. Fred Allan Yates was interviewed at least twice in Seattle in connection to the Jack of Diamonds killings. I don't care if it's irregular to announce it this way. I just don't believe these men need to be confirmed to any position in government, and especially not on the accelerated timeline proposed by Sen. McConnell."
CNN footage, Capitol Building
April 8, 2021:
CNN CONGRESSIONAL CORRESPONDENT MANU RAJU: "Senator McConnell! Senator McConnell! Why aren't Justices Thackerton and Willett being impeached? Doesn't this rise to the level where impeachment is warranted?"
SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL: (awkward chuckling)
CNN, "Anderson Cooper 360°"
April 11, 2021:
ANDERSON COOPER: "Definitely a historic day here on Capitol Hill, though I'm not sure we can say it's the kind of history we should be proud of. I'm joined tonight by CNN's Senior Legal Analyst Jeffrey Toobin. Jeff, how are you?"
JEFFREY TOOBIN: "Fine, Anderson, thanks."
COOPER: "So, here we are. Seven Supreme Court nominees, all facing truly hair-raising allegations of serial murders, all confirmed, in straight party line votes, all in the space of about ten minutes. What on earth are we to make of all this?"
TOOBIN: "(deep sigh) I wish I fucking knew."
Trump campaign rally
May 14, 2021:
"And how about our new Supreme Court? You like those guys? You like 'em? I love 'em. They're all my guys. Best Supreme Court ever. We've already been talking to 'em about what kind of changes we're gonna make. They got some big ideas, and I think you're gonna love 'em! We've got big plans to reshape the country, get rid of my enemies and your enemies, get rid of a lot of stupid regulations, and -- say it with me -- Make America Great Again!"
Political commercial for Edward Manworth
March 18, 2022:
"I'm a constitutional conservative, a family man, a follower of Jesus Christ, and a proud serial killer. In the past ten years, I've collected 15 teenaged whores to be my slaves in Heaven. I'm not running despite my love of serial murder, but because of it. I will kill to make Florida and America a better place to live, for all of us. Except for teenaged whores, of course. If you want strong conservative leadership for Florida, vote for me. I'm Edward Manworth, and I approve this message."
Coronado High School, Lubbock, Texas
September 8, 2029:
"Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Mr. Janks, the club sponsor. Before I turn the meeting over to your club president, Albert, I wanted to welcome our new freshman members. I know some of you aren't sure where you'll fit in the growing recreational murder community, but we'll all be here to help you choose your obsessions and methods, and to train you how harvest your kills. Also, April Dundee? Please, ahem, please stay after the meeting. I'd like to, ahem, talk with you."