It's really early the next day and I am in my own personal existential hell. I have discovered a bridge between my current philosophical pet project (Neitzsche), and my unshakeable faith in Islam. I thought this was impossible, then I read the Quran and realize that Nietzsche is just a second rate hack in comparison with some of the verses I am reading on the same subject. His saving grace is that he isn't too far off the mark.

Anyway, not to preach or anything (this node isn't about that) but I really thought this bridge didn't exist, and crossing it has really opened my eyes, and started a re-integration process in my mind. I can feel things, half broken, or nearly completed, finally coming to fruition.

I feel much better, like I have found my internal map and located myself. I know where my destination is again finally, and the philosophy thing is just one stop. This is probably strange, but the WTC attack had the good affect of shaking me out of my birthshock coma. Something that forced me to be creative, and perhaps insightful. I can see who I am again, and the way the media and the world politics is being manipulated, I no longer feel tied to the sofa, or to my car chair, I feel like I can go places, visit people, do things, and change the world.

The feeling isn't some sort of explosion, more a sort of dull roar, the kind that is familiar from my past, and quite long lasting. All this internal tension, the rediscovery is forcing me to abandon my old identity of a guy dejected, left behind by a loved one, and move on into the light. This is where the whole existential crisis comes from, if I am to be this better person that I see within myself, do I have to give myself up to be him? What then in essence am I?

Answers on a Postcard to: Cognitive Centre, Jaez's Brain, Jaez's Body, The Universe.