It's really
early the next day and I am in my own personal
existential hell. I have discovered a
bridge between my current
philosophical pet project (
Neitzsche), and my unshakeable faith in
Islam. I thought this was
impossible, then I read the
Quran and realize that
Nietzsche is just a second rate
hack in comparison with some of the verses I am reading on the same
subject. His saving grace is that he
isn't too far off the mark.
Anyway, not to preach or anything (this node isn't about that) but I really thought this bridge didn't exist, and crossing it has really opened my eyes, and started a re-integration process in my mind. I can feel things, half broken, or nearly completed, finally coming to fruition.
I feel much better, like I have found my internal map and located myself. I know where my destination is again finally, and the philosophy thing is just one stop. This is probably strange, but the WTC attack had the good affect of shaking me out of my birthshock coma. Something that forced me to be creative, and perhaps insightful. I can see who I am again, and the way the media and the world politics is being manipulated, I no longer feel tied to the sofa, or to my car chair, I feel like I can go places, visit people, do things, and change the world.
The feeling isn't some sort of explosion, more a sort of dull roar, the kind that is familiar from my past, and quite long lasting. All this internal tension, the rediscovery is forcing me to abandon my old identity of a guy dejected, left behind by a loved one, and move on into the light. This is where the whole existential crisis comes from, if I am to be this better person that I see within myself, do I have to give myself up to be him? What then in essence am I?
Answers on a Postcard to: Cognitive Centre, Jaez's Brain, Jaez's Body, The Universe.