Confidence and Paranoia
[Red Dwarf] - Series 1 - Episode 5

[Lister] tries to watch a soppy [film|flick] in the Officer's Block, but [Holly] keeps interrupting him, so he heads into the sleeping quarters that evening to finish watching it. When Rimmer comes in and ribs him about spending his day eating chocolate and watching [TV], Lister tells him about how he went to the Officer's Block while Rimmer was busy accomplishing things. Rimmer gets worried because the Officer's block hasn't been [decontaminated] yet.

Some time later, at half past three in the morning, [Lister] wakes up, hot, sweaty and feeling very ill. He decides to plod down to the medical unit, clutching his blanket. On the way there, he collapses in [corridor] 159, where he is soon found by [the Cat], and subsequently, [Rimmer].

Up in the medical unit, [Lister] and [Rimmer] find out that Lister has caught a mutated [strain] of [pneumonia]. For no apparent reason Lister tells Rimmer about his ex-colleague [Chen]'s theory of [confidence] and [paranoia]. Everyone has two people inside them. Your Confidence is the person who makes you feel good. Your Paranoia is the person who makes you feel crappy about yourself. And every time he'd summon up the courage to ask [Kochanski] out, his [Confidence] would desert him, and leave him with his [Paranoia] telling him that she'd laugh in his face. Tired of Lister's semi-coherent rambling, Rimmer takes him back up to sleep.

Rimmer is practising [necrobics]. Lister is having a [nightmare], mumbling about needing an umbrella. Suddenly, [herring] starts raining down from the ceiling. When Rimmer steps outside the room, the [mayor] of [Warsaw] walks up to him and [SHC|spontaneously combusts] in a flash and a whoosh. Rimmer unhelpfully quips, "It's going to be one of those days, isn't it?" before walking off to do some work.

Though [Lister] feels OK now, the [pneumonia] must still be present in his system, for two men have appeared in the [drive room], one claiming to be Confidence, the other Paranoia. Confidence is a well-built, stereotypical [American], with gold chains and slick hair, who likes eating [steak]. Paranoia is a stooped up weakling who'd rather pick at a [yoghurt] and sneer from a distance. Lister kind of likes the extra company, but Rimmer decides that they are symptoms of Lister's illness and must be destroyed. He's going to find it hard, though, because Lister's Confidence is very good at making Lister feel great, in addition to hating Rimmer too. ("What does that 'H' on your forehead mean? Hidiot?")

As [Holly] announces that an 18-hour [dust storm] is approaching, Confidence is listening to Lister butchering his guitar. Lister starts to brood about [Kochanski], and Confidence tells him to bring her back. Unfortunately, Lister can't. The ship can only support one [hologram] at a time and the hologram [disc]s have been hidden by Rimmer. In the drive room, Rimmer tries to kill [Paranoia] by [lethal injection], and fails. Lister walks in, telling Rimmer that he's figured out how Holly can power two holograms simultaneously; just turn off the non-essential power systems. When Rimmer tells him that he can't have the discs anyhow, Lister deduces that they are hidden behind the [solar panel] outside the sleeping quarters, which they are.

The dust storm subsides. While Lister and Confidence go outside to retrieve the discs, Rimmer notices to his horror that "someone" has smashed the [medi-comp]. When Rimmer asks [Holly] where [Paranoia] is, Holly says that he's no longer aboard the ship. Outside, Confidence makes a revelation - it was he who smashed the medi-comp, and turned Paranoia into [mince] by running him through the [garbage disposal|waste grinder]. Lister soon becomes worried and [claustrophobia|claustrophobic]. Confidence tells him to take off his helmet. Lister isn't convinced, so Confidence takes off his own helmet, and explodes.

Back inside the ship, and with his two companions in pieces and floating around in [space], Lister goes to the [hologrammic projection suite]. Rimmer gives him a last warning and Lister ignores him. When he fires up Kochanski's disc, he finds that it's actually a [copy] of Rimmer's disc. Rimmer welcomes his [clone] aboard.

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The contents of this writeup are in the [public domain].

Confidence and Paranoia (thing)