Career Profile - Prostitute / Crackwhore

Some people get lonely. There's no doubt about it. In your teenage years, you probably heard the phrase "I need to get a girlfriend". Well, once you're grown up, there's no more tolerance for whining. And if you can't stand being single, you can forget your troubles because there's a girl who wants to be your friend just a short drive away.

Skills / Education / Qualifications

If you want to be a part of the flourishing prostitution industry, the first thing you'll want to do is move to a big city (Cities in Nevada have certain legislature that reduce some risks of the job). Big cities mean lots of clients, but even a place like a truck stop or a small port town is a good place to begin. Everyone starts somewhere.

The most successful prostitutes are female. If you really want to go somewhere in this industry, you should definitely be well-equipped for the job. If you aren't a woman, become one. There's certain risks and costs (financial, mainly.) involved in the process, but that's between you and your surgeon.

You don't need to be female to do this job. There are some successful manwhores in the business, and you could always just stop at dressing like a woman. You know, one man's sick disguisting fantasy is another man's job.

Next you'll want to have the proper tools for the job, so buy the right wardrobe. Maybe the Salvation Army has what you want. Definitely some nice stockings. Don't go for anything real expensive, because it'll probably be torn anyway.

Your talents should include salesmanship and, more importantly, flexibility. After all, selling the service isn't nearly as hard as actually doing it. Being able to keep your ankles behind your head for prolonged amounts of time and, depending on your specialty, jumping up and down a lot, requires a certain level of fitness. Take an aerobics or yoga class. Also, you should have decent manual dexterity and have a low gag reflex.

Working Conditions / Salary

You'll be working in public, mostly. City streets and bars are the most usual places to scope out clients. But the real job gets done indoors. If your employer has given you a place to do your job, do it. If you need to use a motel, charge your client for expenses.

It's best to take cash only. Traditionally, you'll make $50 per session, but if you're really desperate, you can offer the ever-worthwhile "Suck for a Buck" deal. If you're a real winner you might require your payment in the form of substances. I don't know the specifics of pricing here, so your best bet is to ask an experienced coworker.

If you're not self-employed, you'll be working under a short-term relationship facilitation specialist. Often, you'll be asked to give him free samples of your work. If you get abused by your boss, remember that he's making your job a lot easier. But then, quit if things look really bad - nobody likes an abusive relationship. Well, some do. And you might be working for them. Which reminds me, be open-minded with your clients.

If you prefer not to live the night life, you can always get a job in the pornography industry. It's far less risky. The lightest laws on pornography are in California, so move to Los Angeles and seek employment. Who knows, you might just get famous. And it'll give you a chance to hone those acting skills of yours.

Reccomended Reading

About.Com - On Legal Prostitution

Thanks Mr. Hotel for pointing out that prostitution isn't legal in Reno.