Life of the unemployed, recently graduated 20-something woman who is no longer a student and has no idea what the hell she is doing. That's the title I want to put for my daylog. It is the state I am in and I don't like it. It is a state of limbo, a state where avoiding people who know me is preferable, if only to avoid the standard question, ''so what are you doing now?'' How do I explain that I'm doing nothing? There is the feeling of pride that I completed a difficult program (difficult for me) and the feeling of shame that I have not found employment yet, nor have I been looking very hard. I'm at the point where I need to decide, do I look for a MLA job, or do I fall back on my BA to help me get a government job? Or do I do something completely different. Do I do something crazy like open up my own business or write a book and become instantly and wildly successful? I think everyone knows the odds of that last option happening. The worst part of the situation is that I feel people expect MORE of me, if only because I have post-secondary education, which by the way is overrated. I lack faith in my own personality and social connections, which are the most important things when it comes to getting hired, or so I am told.
But at least I have an interview tomorrow morning for a volunteer job at a blood donation bank. I want to see how the blood donation process works. I hate giving blood but I know how to take it from other people. I can do capillary punctures and venous punctures, also known as phlebotomy. Maybe if they like me as a volunteer they'll hire me on as a phlebotomist when they get more job openings. Plus I know someone who wants to work there as a nurse, so I'll have the inside information and connections to help her out. My plan is a networking ploy and that's about it. I need the experience on my resume, I need more references and I need more people to help me out with the job search. You need to know the right people; that is how it works in the field, or at least that's how it works in this city I live in.
Those were the thoughts running through my head when I woke up this morning. I felt the weight of a warm body against my head. Kimo, the grey and white cat, sits on my head every single morning and no amount of throwing him off the bed ever does me any good. He is here to stay, which is comforting and annoying at the same time. I get out of bed and walk down the hallway and straight to the kitchen where the coffee maker is. Kimo follows me. I need my coffee or I can't function. I need my caffeine and I need the soothing routine that goes with it. I like cleaning the pool of yesterday's coffee that sits at the bottom of the coffee carafe. I like to throw out the old coffee grinds and insert a new, white filter and then carefully measure out the spoonfuls of fresh grinds. My measuring spoon holds two tablespoons, and I use a coffee:water ratio of 1scoop:1cup for a total of two cups of coffee for myself, three cups if my boyfriend is here too. You'll have to pardon my math skills; it's been a few months since I bothered with ratios and now I forget how to properly use them. But you get the idea. Kimo is staring at me expectantly. Eowyn, the younger cat, is nowhere to be seen. The food bowls are empty so I pour more catfood into them and refresh the water bowls while the coffee brews. I like the gurgling sound it makes. I put away a few of the clean dishes that sit in the drying rack beside the sink, and then I go to the washroom to brush the morning breath out of my mouth. The coffee machine beeps to indicate it is done. I pour hot dark liquid into my sunflower mug followed by too much cream. We're almost out of cream.
This is the beginning of my day of the rest of my life. I hate the beginning of the day because that is when you need to decide what you are doing that day, unless you are one of those organized people who plan everything the night before or even several days in advance. I need a job, my boyfriend and I nearly broke up last night, and my life is a big question mark. I think it's okay to take it one day at a time. Maybe tomorrow I'll know what to do.