are, minding your own business. Sitting by yourself in a crowded restaurant
. Your thoughts are your only companion. The food arrives. The server
sets the plate down in front of you, and your salivary glands
instantly spring into action. You restrain yourself, not wanting to look like a buffoon
, but the aromas of the food wafting up and triggering your olfactory
sensors and the sheer aesthetic
beauty of the dish before you are overwhelming. As calmly as you can, you pick the correct utensil
, take a bit of the delicacy
off of the plate, slowly bring it up to your oral cavity
, and then...sheer bliss.
Happy little neurons in your brain begin firing in glee, prompting you to reach for your beverage, sipping lightly on it. The taste sensation begins to come in pulsing waves across your palate. They engulf more and more territory, until they're washing over your entire being. Suddenly, it's When Harry Met Sally all over again. "Yes, Oh, sweet Jebus, YES!"
As the feeling fades, and you begin to regain your composure, you start to notice the piercing silence. Your fellow diners staring right at you. And you know that they know.
You've just had a flavorgasm.
Like the name suggests, a flavorgasm is a metaphorical orgasm brought about by unbelieveable flavors/flavor combinations. Though most are not necessarily as pronounced as an actual orgasm, there are nonetheless many similarities.
One approaching a flavorgasm will begin to feel mildly warm. The stimulation of the treat on the tastebuds begins to feel absolutely divine. Sometimes, the rate at which the food/drink is consumed increases, with almost an animal urgency. Others, the rate decreases, resulting in a slow, sensual intake. Afterward, the eater puts down their silverware, leans back in their chair, heaves a heavy sigh, and doesn't feel like moving for 15 minutes, save to perhaps enjoy a cigarette as well.
Flavorgasms can be caused by many different foods and drinks. 'Hot-button' food and drink differs between individual people. For some, it's broiled salmon chased down by a proper piesporter. For others, it's cheesecake and a thimble of vin de glacière. And for some, it could be as simple as an 18-year-old single malt scotch.
Regardless, flavorgasms are nothing to be ashamed of. They are completely natural. Your average person will have several dozen during their lifetime. They are your body's way of telling you, "I am happy now. Carry on with your bad self."
It is important to know exactly what foods will bring about flavorgasms, so that you can be sure you won't be operating any heavy machinery or driving anytime within recent consumption of said foods. As with any recreational drug, flavorgasm-inducing foods should be consumed responsibly.