CRAZY MAN is sitting on a late-night BUS with a mangy HAND PUPPET on his hand, sputtering and cursing like a sailor.

CM: This is just terrible, terrible weather.

HP: Get the fuck used to it, Vancouver rains 9 months out of the year. Why the fuck did you choose to live in such a shithole?

CM: Shhhh! The bus driver will hear you and kick us off!

HP: Do I look like I'm afraid of that cocksucker? He's the biggest pussy I've ever seen!

CM: Shut up! You're gonna get us in trouble!

HP: I'll kick the bus driver's fucking ass! I'll bash that motherfucker's teeth in, fuck him up the ass and serve it to him for breakfast!

CM: Shut up shut up! Just shut up!

...but it is too late. The BUS DRIVER pulls the bus up to the curb, slows it to a stop, turns around and addresses them.

HP: Oh shit.

BD: Boys, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask one of you to leave.

I had a friend who was an unemployed puppeteer. Here in the UK they make you do the dreaded Restart Interview every 6 months or so, or they stop your giros.

You go and get interviewed by some sadistic idiot who makes you try and prove that you've been looking for work.

Only my friend, the puppeteer, would take his puppets along and only talk through them. He would straight refuse to answer questions himself. Got him through the interview though.

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