Why Young Girls Like Boy Bands

Okay, so for some reason, boy bands haven't gone away yet. This in itself is astounding. Remember New Kids on the Block? They were fiercly loved for like 37 seconds, and then they were ridiculed up the wazoo.

I have patiently waited for this to happen again. I neither feared the Back Street Boys nor NSync because I knew that soon... oh so soon... they would get theirs.

Sadly, this is not to be. And I have a theory as to why.

Bands are as popular as their fan base. Let us examine the fan base of a boy band: young girls. Screamy, giggly, pink toting, glitter hurling, blink command crashing groves of young girls have made the corporations behind America's most popular whined voice harmonizers quite wealthy indeed.

Hmmmm. Why is this? Let's see... When I think "boy band" a certain image comes to mind. On a whole, boy bands are trendy and diverse. Well, ironically diverse anyway. Sure, we always have the "rebel" and the "sweetheart," the "tough guy" and the "boy next door..." That's diverse, I guess, but because such "diversity" is so common, it kind of defeats the purpose, yeah? Anyway. Among this "diversity" of characters, a young girl safely gets a panel of boys to crush on. Boy bands teach a young girl how to crush. The members of the band are safe, sincere, talented... and effeminate.

Being effeminate is key to the success of a boy band. Notice how the young, girly looking boy is always the most popular. My theory is that young girls learning how to crush go for the most innocuous target. Baby steps. Because Justin Timberlake or Nick Carter does not look so disimilar from them, they are least threatening. Same with Leonardo DiCaprio or... uh... Elijah Wood. Girly men! These idols allow young girls to slowly build up a tolerance for masculinity. In this vein, a preteen will start with Nick Carter. She will then move up to Carson Daly... She then might go for Enrique Iglesias. And then, all hell breaks loose. She might even, one day, work herself up to the likes of Billy Zane or Jeff Fahey.

God, I love Jeff Fahey.

So, there you have it: boy bands remain because they teach young girls how to crush. Very logical when you think about it. Then again. Maybe not :D

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