The forty of forties.

If sad times fall on your life and you need some alcohol to wash away the pain of daily life, spend $1.85 on 40 ounces of OE. Maybe buy some Olde English to mock the idea of drinking forties. After you take the first sip, the immediate reaction will be to throw that $1.85 investment away. But why? That's right, keep drinking it. The cool, charcoal filtered flavor will become bliss halfway through the bottle. Make sure you are keeping the bottle capped too, don't waste the precious carbonation(Really don't! Without capping the forty, it becomes more and more difficult to drink.) If you get to the last tenth of your eight ball, pour it out. That's for all things lost and remembered. Mmmmmmmmm, malt liquor. If you choose the forty route, skip past the Mickey's, Colt 45, and Schlitz. Always get the brown bag, it's the best way to keep it cold and grip the delightful beverage.

Oh yes, friends. You know what it looks like. BIG glass bottle, little tiny cap. Hard to get a hand around, especially when coated in a thin sheen of condensation oh so common on these hot summer nights. Give the aluminum cap a sharp counterclockwise twist and the tensile stress generated by the torque of your forearm and the pitch of the threads on the neck makes the body of the cap overcome the ultimate strength of the aluminum safety ring. After the satisfying crack of localized ductile failure, tip that giant tankard up to your lips and gulp in that sweet, satisfying, carbonated and charcoal filtered beer (which for legal reasons must be called malt liquor). Drink it down deep, until you feel the rising pressure in your chest. Belch, loudly and proudly. Congratulations, you're a cheap bastard. Smile. Some people say you drink the first third of a bottle of malt liquor so you can drink the rest. i disagree. i drink it quickly because it gets warm fast, it goes flat fast and it gets you drunk fast.

Olde English "800" (commonly referred to as "OE") is brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA by the Olde English 800 Brewing Company, a trademark of the Miller Brewing Company. Miller is owned by Philip Morris, also known for Kraft Foods and Marlboro cigarettes, among other brands.

OE is available in 16 and 24 ounce aluminum cans as well as 22 (the double deuce), 32, 40 (the forty), and 64 ounce glass bottles (and rumored to even come in 128 ounce bottles). Like all malt liquor, OE is high in alcohol, middling in taste and low in price. Both in Hotlanta and my current digs in Chicago, a 40 of Olde English "800" will run anywhere between 2 & 3 dollars. Devon_Hart assures me that an ice cold OE forty costs him a solid $3.28 CDN (including tax). It's distinctive gold and maroon label make it easy to spot. It has been seen in The Crystal Method's new album liner notes and the film Kids.

Personally, i like the taste. i'd rather drink OE than just about any cheap beer. It tastes about the same but the low price and high alcohol content certainly give it the edge. Suckapant is dead on the money, friends. Tip out the last of your 40 for all things lost and remembered. A solemn moment in your night of revelry will keep you grounded. You can't raise hell if you don't believe in it. Now go grab another 40.

Why, might you ask, is it refered to as a "malt liquor" instead of beer? Well, over heah in the states, various state laws limit the amount of alcohol permissible in beer. To be able to sell something with a higher alcohol content than those laws allow, it can't be called beer. Hence OE is a malt liquor.

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