"Recently I got a postcard with a manatee - the sea cow, you ever seen that animal?"

"Yes... yes I have."

"It's called the sea cow; that sounds like an insult to me. It's almost as if he was introduced to the ocean, and the other animals were like 'Who are you?' and the manatee was like 'You can call me the manatee.'

The other animals were like 'Yeah right, sea cow!'

'Call me manatee!'

'Sea cow.'

'Manatee, manatee please!'

The manatee kinda looks like a guest on the Ricki Lake Show, doesn't it?

'Ricki I can't get laid.'

Then somebody in the audience would offer up the advice:

'Yeah, I wanna say somethin' to the sea pig...'

'Uh, that's sea cow.'

'Whateva. You think you're all dat cause yo' a fat seal 'n' shit.'

'I don't think I'm anything.'

'Yeah, well what you gotta do is get yo'self an education and a job!'

'I live in the ocean.'

'You live in the ocean cause you ain't got no job!'

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Yo' fat; y'all gotta get Weight Watchers!'

'I have a layer of blubber to keep me warm in the water.'

'Whateva, talk to my hand.'"

--Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist

Man`a*tee" (?), n. [Sp. manat�xa1;, from the native name in Hayti. Cf. Lamantin.] Zool.

Any species of Trichechus, a genus of sirenians; -- called alsosea cow.

[Written also manaty, manati.]

One species (Trichechus Senegalensis) inhabits the west coast of Africa; another (T. Americanus) inhabits the east coast of South America, and the West-Indies. The Florida manatee (T. latirostris) is by some considered a distinct species, by others it is thought to be a variety of T. Americanus. It sometimes becomes fifteen feet or more in length, and lives both in fresh and salt water. It is hunted for its oil and flesh.


© Webster 1913.

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