On Grad School

I've been accepted to it. For some reason I still cannot understand, I approved the preparatory course even though I'm way behind on my linear algebra and differential calculus. I'll have to move to a new municipality of less than 500 inhabitants. I expect some kind of cultural shock after living in one of the most populated metropolitan areas of the American Continent. I'll have to give up almost all my "free time" to studying, I'll most likely hit my head against heavy books in the following years and my life will depend on a comfortable yet meager scholarship. I'll have to renounce having many luxuries around and will have to adapt to new entertainment options. Yet I look forward to all of it. I only hope it's the right choice.

Having recently written about wanting to get back in the saddle but not knowing what to node about, I shortly thereafter decided to start a scratch pad to keep track of random ideas for nodes as they occur to me.  I now have quite a nice collection.  Most of them require a decent chunk of time devoted to them in order to become worthy nodes though.  So now my issue is reversed.  Instead of time to node and no idea, now I have ideas and no time.  Or rather, no time I wish to allocate yet.

I am a bit of a messy person, but this last week or so I have discovered motivation to push through my procrastination and clean up a lot of major problem areas at home lately.  The hovel is slowly looking more like a pleasant home again, so I am grateful to myself.  This is where most of my allocation of useful time is being used right now though. A worthy cause, but not a node.

My ideas cover a variety of things, ranging from info nodes about songs, music albums, video games, and household items, to experience nodes about songs, dead creatures, promises.  Plus, of course, there are those ideas that will be a cross between info and experience once written up.  Next step, actually node again, gosh darnit.


In the process of putting links in this log, I found some more ideas for my scratchpad.  Yay!

Health: I am treating the sinus infection as per my physician and the Sanford Guide. Just saline washes with a Neilmed kit and the little packets and distilled water.

How will we tell when it's gone if I don't have normal sinus symptoms? It's still tender in the bone above the tooth. I am asking if we could track it on sinus xrays. Way less radiation than a CT scan, so I'd rather avoid more. Referral to ENT specialist pending. Stupid evil insurance has to approve first.

I am also checking in with various alternative folks. Carefully. I don't think energy work could hurt.

A very elaborate dream with a lot of people this morning:

I am at the lake and staying in a cabin. Not one of our cabins, or rather, this isa dream cabin in the sky. My mother is there and my sister but I don't see them. I go to the Little Cabin and my cousin T is there. Also his wife L and their children and my grandmother that I am named after. She is in her 90s in the dream and frail. I am so delighted to see her, I hug her. I air kiss my cousin K and my cousin H. There are some 12ish twins and other kids and adults that I don't know. I ask L if the man sitting by her is her brother. She looks offended that I am asking questions. "An old friend," she says. And nothing more and the man gets up and moves away.

Then the whole group goes by me with chairs and pieces of wood. Now there is a road in front of the cabin instead of a lake. They all set up an elaborate installation outside a house across the road from the cabin. This is clearly some sort of game or prank. "Come out, Mr. Thomas!" shouts my cousin T. They are all laughing and joking and singing some. I have not been invited or initiated into this. For a moment I want to be: then I don't. This is a family pattern, insider/outsider games. The insiders know what is happening and it's all a "joke". The outsiders either play along or get to be audience and perhaps if they are really good they will be accepted as insiders and included. Ick. I hate this.

I leave. I go back to the sky cabin. I am thinking. My grandmother was not playing the game. I will do the dishes while I think. She is really the only one that I want to spend time with. She is fine with me not playing the game and is fine with me rebelling.

Then I am on a sidewalk. A man took us there but he has left. I am with another woman and a second man. The first man did an elaborate sort of act and dance to get us to go with him. I think he was sent by my family as part of their games. I don't really care. The other man is part african american and is wearing pants, but is also covered from head to toe with silver glitter. He is very handsome. He and I are flirting just a little.

The woman says, "I will have to be careful coming back if I go fishing, with you two around." She implies that we will be all over each other the minute she is not there. The guy and I just grin at each other. We are both just flirting and being a little silly and also careful. We both are interested that the other person is being careful and we both may want to learn more....slowly.

"What does it feel like to wear glitter from head to toe?" I ask.

"I don't know," he replies, "This is my first time."

And I wake up.

I've never met Silverai_me, but the imaginary version sucks at being apathetic.

A few days ago, I announced in the catbox my impending voyage to the End of the World. I asked if anyone wanted anything, and Silverai_me indicated apathy, perhaps only that special apathy one could get being apathetic in the face of World's End.

I said I didn't know how to pass along apathy. Silverai sent me the following message (shared with permission):

"Awesome! If you give the apathy to the sandman when you go to sleep tonight, he can deliver it to me the next time I go to sleep. It's a dream postal service for intangible items."

That very night, last night, I dreamed a dream.

My wife and I explore Jupiter. People have colonized the gas giant by setting up habitable blocks that float in the toxic atmosphere. I recognize this makes no sense. Settling the moons of Jupiter would be more practical, if space colonies can be practical. Through some dreamtech, these floating blocks counteract the significant gravity. It's even possible to jump the vast distances between blocks without the use of a ship or environmental gear. The surface of the blocks resemble bucolic rural settings.

We leave Jupiter by some sort of ship and I arrive at my childhood home.

There has been a catastrophic overflow in the toilet. Someone identifying himself as "Silverai_me" attempts to clean up. I don't know if the real Silverai_me is a clean-cut thirtyish male without the slightest trace of an Aussie accent, rather like an actor from a 60-era American TV show, but that's who claims the name in the dream. Fortunately, someone summons the cleaning bots, little circular flying devices, and all is well.

Still, that guy was working hard up to that point.

Not at all apathetic, that guy.

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