There are two types of sports fans in the world. One roots for his team constantly, entering each game utterly certain of victory. They are happy. confident and cocky. They have to be there to watch, certain the superior skill of their players and coaches decides matters.
I am not that kind of fan. If Oho State loses tonight it will be my fault. I will have cursed them by watching the game, brought them low through expressing confidence, ruined them by rooting.
You see I am the decider.
You may think that a more important factor might be the skill of the players, the preparation of the coaches and the craftiness of their game plan. You might think the best athletes and best prepared team gets the victory. You would be wrong. It's the team I like that loses, unless I'm utterly convinced they'll lose, unless I shun the game. The fact that I told people in 2002 that " a Buckeye is a tough nut to crack' wore my OSU sweatshirt and watched every second of the game (when I wasn't in the bathroom returning my beer) might indicate a flaw in my assertion that I am the decider. To you I say you haven't watched enough sports, haven't watched your second basemen botch a World Series winning grounder, haven't watched The Fumble against Denver, the Interception against Oakland and the ball that popped out of the hoop against Michigan. The fact that Ohio State proved victorious in 2002 does nothing to negate my role as the central figure in sporting outcomes for the teams I love. Rather that was fate teasing me, trying to give me false confidence, and false hope that the faite of my teams might be decided by actual skill and atheleticism.
I know better. I crave the gator steak Phil plans to barbecue even as I dread what It implies. I shall wear my scarlet and gray fully aware that I've just set the Buckeyes back a touchdown. And I tell you why Ohio State will lose: Because I think they will win.
This isn't about rationality or logic. True sports fans rise above such things. We are the fans who understand the depth and disappointment of shattered hopes. My hopes and Ohio State's fate are the victims of quantum entanglement. So so Ted, Jimmy, Troy, Antonio, Quinn and the rest, I'm sorry. It's my fault.
I'm here to take the blame.
By the way: Go Bucks!