Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "It was some mood whiplash, going from laughing at how pathetic He is to realizing that, oh yeah, He is still an evil demon."

• That's Just How He Was
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• when you reflect that john now knows how he's going to die.
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• some say he was never here at all
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• Oh hey, by the way, he's the Antichrist
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• I married him because he was not mean
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
• How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
• The Lover Showeth How He Is Forsaken of Such as He Sometime Enjoyed
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• He taught me how to smoke
• making certain he was touching her
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• what he carried from here to Okinawa
• all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
• He needed to repeat some well-used mantra of love just one more time
• How many times has God twiddled his thumbs before he put vertebrates on the Earth?
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• When a man lies he murders some part of the world
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• He Was Only Joking
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• he fell into shadow, fighting a great evil
• Making an F-16 from a cereal box, some Scotch tape, and a penny
• The Old Man's Comforts and How He Gained Them
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• I wanted to see how many times he wouldn't ask.
• How He Didn't Understand Her Whichever
• Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
• Some say he once killed a man with a guitar string
• All he left her was alone
• He was found
• How to read ECU fault codes from some GM cars
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• Let's shoot Cupid, see how he likes it
• No matter how wise an old sheep, he can't teach a fish how to polevault
• He learned to dance from emus but he learned to love from seraphim
• His memory perishes from the earth, and he has no name in the street.
• he looks hurt from behind that eye patch, the choker, the bare chest
• The promise of life. This he stole from himself as well.
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• How Eulenspiegel announced he wanted to fly
• The one he murdered once still loves him
• At least he was gentle
• More than he was willing to give
• He said 'tentacle porn', so I stuck my dick in a toaster and went from there
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• The Good Gardener (On How He Fell)
• As if he knew that words were how I kissed
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• Mr. Potato Head Sprouted. He got moldy. Now he's all dried up, but he's still up in the cabinet.
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
• He Was a Crook
• A half-man, half-monstertruck ex-CIA vampire must save the world the only way he knows how: with ROCK
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• He probably builds trebuchets still: Satan needs to modernize, like totally!
• There is a clown. He sells meat. I bought you some Chicken McNuggets.
• I will fucking REMOVE your writeups about Cloud Strife and how he's cool and mysterious and shit
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• He's not a bad person. He's just done some bad things
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• he was a punk poet himself
• To everyone's relief he's still alive and kicking
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• 'twas the telltale tink-tock of marionettes, he felt certain, that jingle-jangled from behind her shower curtain
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
• I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
• How I learned the secret of the pendulum from Japanese playground equipment
• Where do these girls come from these days? Some finishing school in the desert?
• Eternity in an Hour: Some notes from relationships
• The trail of its demise was visible from the surf.
• how many bird nests would be made from her lovely hair
• How to protect yourself from a vampire
• if you are going to steal from me, at least steal something of value
• There once was a man from St. Paul
• How to make friends, from a friend.
• and this is how madness sounds from the inside
• How to prevent records from warping
• The demon was just under three feet tall
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• This book was stolen from the Harvard College Library. It was later recovered. The thief was sentenced to two years at hard labor.
• How to Get to Heaven from Jacksonville, FL
• How (and why) to send your mail from another city
• How to make LSD from Fosters Beer
• How to node from work
• From the Earth to the Moon: 21: How a Frenchman Manages an Affair
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• How does a demon eat a Reese's peanut butter cup?
• How much is Zen Buddhism from China exported overseas during the Song period?
• The further I get from the things that I care about, the less I care about how much further away I get
• How I found peace staring up at the moon from a gutter in my dreams
• We're acting happy to stop ourselves from going insane.
• how to stop someone's massive bleeding from the femoral artery
• the demon was an idea
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• How Higher Education Ruined Movies From My Childhood
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• the ocean is never calm and still, but the depths are very different from the surface
• How to wean kids from TV
• Getting free computer parts
• Getting drinking water from bamboo
• Creating decorative pieces from red envelopes
• An American in Tours
• Fruit cut from the vine, forgot and left to rot, long before it was time
• I was less than one hundred footsteps away from you I suppose
• Isolating copper from American pennies
• Education is evil. Knowledge is evil. Be a moron. Forget how to spell.

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