Sure, there are nodes containing everything about vampires and their history, but where is the really important stuff? What can you do to prevent yourself from being attacked by a vampire? If you are caught unprepared, an unexpected rendezvous with the living dead can be fatal.
First of all, you need to find out if you are at risk for vampire attacks. A person (living or dead) that displays any combination of the characteristics below can be a sure indication you are dealing with the undead:
- Open graves.
- Corpses with open eyes.
- Corpses with no signs of decomposition.
- Bite marks in the neck.
- Corpses with visible blood in their veins.
- Unusually flexible limbs.
- A person lacking a shadow or reflection.
So, you think you are dealing with a genuine case of vampirism? Here are some steps to take for
protection:
- While a vampire sleeps (during the daytime, of course), place a wild rose on its coffin. The vampire will be unable to get out.
- Scatter handfuls of grain on the ground near the vampire’s grave. The vampire will be compelled to count the individual grains until the sun comes up.
- Similar to the method above, placing a broom on a vampire’s grave will force it to count the straws of the broom, although this can usually be accomplished quicker.
- If you are being chased by a vampire, find and cross a river. Vampires can’t cross running water.
- Garlands of garlic around your neck will help to protect from vampire bites while sleeping.
- Never invite a suspected vampire into your home. Vampire can not enter a house without being invited. However, once invited, they may come and go as they please.
- Mix flour with the blood of a vampire to make bread. Eating the bread will serve as a sort of vampire-repellent.
- Iron jewelry has been known to ward off potentially deadly encounters with vampires. Placing iron shavings under the crib of a child will make sure they are unharmed.
Contrary to popular belief, a
crucifix will
NOT protect you from attacks, unless it is made out of iron. Don’t become the next dead fool to have made this mistake. In the same vein,
holy water is virtually useless.
Not content with merely avoiding the vampire? Many areas have their own traditional methods used to
kill the damn things.
- In Bavaria, place a coin in the vampire's mouth and then
decapitate with axe.
- In Bohemia, bury the vampire at a crossroads.
- In Bulgaria, chain the vampire to a grave with wild roses.
- In Crete, boil the vampire's head in vinegar.
- In the rest of Greece, cut off the vampire's head and burn it.
- In Ireland, pile stones on the vampire's grave.
- In Macedonia, pour boiling oil on the vampire, then drive a
nail through its navel.
- In Poland, bury a vampire face downwards.
- In Prussia, put poppy seeds in a vampire's grave.
- In Romania, remove the vampire's heart and cut it in two,
then put garlic in its mouth and nails in its head.
- In Serbia, cut off the vampire's toes, and drive a nail
through its neck.
- In Saxony, put a lemon in a vampire's mouth.
- In Spain you’re screwed. There is no way to kill Spanish vampires. I hope you picked the right religion.
There you have it, sleep safe knowing that you are safe from Dracula. I may have just saved your life.