He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth!
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health!
He'll welcome you into his lair
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest!
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year!
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beers!
He loves German beer!

Hank Scorpio, voiced by Albert Brooks, appeared in The Simpsons episodeYou Only Move Twice,” as the super villain who is trying to take over the world. He is also Homer’s boss for a brief period, but he doesn’t like to be called that, he’s just like you, except he does less work, gets paid a lot more and takes longer holidays.

Vital Statistics


Hank is very friendly and personable, he likes a joke, but is always good natured about it. He doesn’t like people to feel inferior to him, insisting that Homer not call him Mr Scorpion, or even Mr Scorpio, but Hank! He takes care of his employees to an almost ludicrous extent, even building the idyllic town of Cypress Creek to house them in. He participates in fun-runs, shouts goodbye to his shoes and believes that bums should be allowed to go at their own pace, he does, however, have a darker side.

Yes, that personable, bearded, model-boss is also a power-hungry megalomaniac with his eye on world domination. He is frustrated by the way the united nations dismisses his terrorist attack on the 59th street bridge as the bridge just falling down on it’s own. He mercilessly condemns the MI6 agent James Bont to a torturous death involving lasers and…well… Bont’s manhood, when he escapes, Scorpio has him machine-gunned. Scorpio plots to destroy France (nobody ever says Italy), with some kind of big doomsday device, and has pitilessly murdered the hundreds of government forces that tried to top him. He currently controls the east coast. Finally his views about everyone being equal to him… don’t they sound communist? (Ok, the stock plan bit is capitalist, but work with me on this one.)

Is Scorpio Evil?

A good question. Sure he’s a terrorist, a communist, a mass murderer, but, he’s also a really nice guy! After all, he only hurts people who get in his way, if you don’t get in his way, you get a luxury house, three weeks paid vacation a year, a good health care package, a good wage and basically no worries. His only bad point is he ruthlessly crushes his enemies, but why oppose him?

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