So Donald Trump is now going to be the next President of the United States. As expected, the salt and schadenfreude to be mined from American college students, Tumblrinas, and social justice warriors on social media and elsewhere was utterly, utterly, glorious. And I loved every minute of it. I don't care if you think this makes me a bad person, but seeing Cornell University host a "cry in" after The Donald's election victory was hilarious and confirmed my prejudices against the Millennial generation (which, as someone born in 1985, I have the misfortune to fall into, just about.)

Because if you didn't laugh, you'd cry when you realised that these are the people at top universities who will grow up to, in thirty years' time, be our lords and masters, and frankly I can't see how they could possibly manage it if they either I. collapse into a foetal position and hide in their safe space until their immediate vicinity has been swept of microaggressions or whatever it is they can't stand, or II. lose their absolute shit and have a window-smashing, car-burning, random passerby-beating hissy fit as has been happening in Portland.

So. Speaking as a fellow Millennial, to these people I'd like to say the following to anyone who's been "literally shaking" on Twitter because they think that immigrants, Muslims, and minorities are about to be rounded up by combover-laden death squads, to anyone who's been thinking that women will be ceremonially deshoed, pussy-grabbed, degraded Alfred Dreyfuss style and then cast back into the kitchen, to anyone who's felt the need to crypost about how white people all hate them:


Do you honestly think that any social progress of any sort, be it economic or social justice, abolition of slavery, equal rights for women and minorities, a fair day's pay for a fair day's work, the right to a fair trial, the right to peacefully assemble, the right to freedom of expression, the right not to be judicially tortured, or any other civil liberty or human right has been ever obtained, in the entirety of recorded history, when, at any setback or possibility of a setback, those who proclaim to battle for such rights would curl up into a ball and start feeling sorry for themselves, you flaccid, entitled, PUKES?!

No wonder Trump supporters labelled you as "low energy" and "cucks" when you behave like this with your cry ins and post-election safe spaces and having conversations about how put upon and oppressed you are rather than getting busy and doing something about it and then are surprised when a man you've cast as The Big Bad eats your woke slay queen's lunch. And no, turning your Twitter avatar solid black in mourning doesn't count.

Suppose it's 1918 again and after Emmeline Pankhurst or any of the other Suffragists had been arrested all the others unchained themselves from railings, and slunk off back into the kitchens where they belonged and just cried about it like you lot are right now. Do you think that women would have the vote now if that had happened?

Or suppose it's the 1960s and after yet another black civil rights protestor has been lynched in the Deep South for being an "uppity nigger" all his compatriots had slunk off and moaned and beat their breasts about it like you are doing right now. Do you honestly think that there wouldn't still be legally mandated racial segregation if this had happened?

Maybe it's the 1980s and Section 28 had just come in. What if all the gay rights (as they were then called) protestors and activists had melted away and slunk off in the face of same? Do you think we'd have gay marriage and adoption if they'd just given up?

Or better still, let's go back to the 17th century. What if, after King Charles I dissolved Parliament to rule by decree, the various MPs had just said, well, sod it, let's just carry on regardless, he's the King, and gone back into their manors and cried like you are all doing. I dare say Britain would either be a French-style republic or an absolute monarchy by now had that happened.

"Oh, but you don't understand, you're full of ciswhitemaleprivilege!" I hear you caterwaul, hand tragically nailed to the forehead. Bollocks, say I. For a start, if you'd paid attention you would know that there's something called "separation of powers" and "the right to petition the government." You think Trump is going to take away all your rights like he claimed he was going to on the campaign trail? Frankly, if you're going to either collapse into inconsolable sobbing and literally quaking with fear or smash up random people's stuff in the street then if I'm honest, I hope he does strip you of all your rights because you deserve it for being a whining, entitled, cosseted cavalcade of manchildren and womanchildren. Who was it who said "the price of liberty is eternal vigilance?" I forget. Either way, it's the truth.

Only you can stop a Republican dominated Trump government from doing exactly what he threatened to. Yes. That's right. You. You are responsible for the policy direction of this incoming government. So take responsibility. Protest. Organise against those of his policies that you disapprove of. Campaign for local and state representatives that will oppose those policies and acts. Get out the vote. Object. Fund and launch legal challenges against things you disapprove of. It will be hard work. There will be unpleasantnesses. There will be police- and other- instigated violence. You will be run ragged trying to deal with it. You will be vilified, but if you are right, you will also gain support, and you might just manage to stump the Trump.

But you can't achieve any of this if you just rely on crybullying, safe spaces, trigger warnings, virtue signalling and general slacktivism. If you think that buying a Beyoncé album means that you clearly think black lives matter, you're deluded. If you think that screaming, "KEEP YOUR HATE SPEECH OFF OF CAMPUS" and flapping your arms at people you disagree with while spouting ill-informed talking points and buzzwords at them (and yes, Trigglypuff, I'm looking at you here) is going to make a difference, you're out of luck. If you think that posting friendly hashtags on Twitter and unfriending people on Facebook because they dared disagree with you on something is going to make a difference, then you're in for a rude awakening. Because real life isn't a safe space and cannot be made into a safe space, and if you spend all your life in safe spaces you'll never achieve a single thing.

And then Donald J. Trump will come to your town and grab your women by the pussy while you moan about it on social media. And then everyone will know you as the low energy cucks that the alt right label you as.

So, yeah. Don't be a low energy cuck. Quit with the online slacktivism and public temper tantrums and channel that into positive, constructive action, or you will lose what gains you've made.

In closing: ACT YOUR AGE.


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