Actually, a proper Glasgow Kiss usually entails an exchange of sorts, with its own bizarre protocol, as illustrated by the following example involving a Glaswegian of ill-temper (GoIT) and an Englishman of questionable parentage (EBstd):

GoIT: Gonna show us the way ta the Royal, pal?
EBstd: Sorry, I'm not from around here and don't know...
GoIT: Well fuckin' find oot! HEADBUTT

Note the use of the word pal, which is definitely not a term of endearment in Glasgow. Tacked onto the end of any sentence, it usually predicates the shattering of glass, skulls, or more likely both.

And no, I don't know why a native Glaswegian would need directions to the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall, but in case you're ever asked, it's on the corner of Sauchiehall and Buchanan streets (the opposite corner from the Starbucks, which is great for people-watching on a Saturday morning).

Reaxion points out that the Glaswegian in question most likely sent the EBstd to the Glasgow Royal Infirmary to seek treatment. Ed.

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