As electronic music diversifies, DJs seem to be getting more and more creative with what they call the style of music they spin. Promoters support this by putting the most "descriptive" terms possible under their billings on flyers. This has gone well past the point of concise accurate description and moved along to nit-picky pedantry.

Back in the day, you see, people stuck to the basic names: house, drum'n'bass, trance, techno, etc. If they were different enough from what was expected of the rest of the genre, they might add a single modifier, as in deep house or progressive trance. Now, though, I guess you can't play killer records unless you need a handful of adjectives to describe your sound. I have actually seen these genres on flyers: breakbeat hip-core, up-tempo filtered French house, dubbed-out Jamaican dancehall, and my favorite, tragic disco house. There are more, but those are the goofiest ones.

To build your own silly name for phat beats, choose two or three adjectives from L1, and one noun from L2. Once in a while, you'll come up with a type of music that records actually exist in, but most of the time you'll just get something incredibly humorous.

L1 = { epic French soulful evil sexy hard deep
progressive Sweedish fast downtempo filtered wet
tribal Florida funky euro diva abstract dark slow
Chicago layered disco ambient dubby deranged
San Fransisco pounding intelligent psychedelic
German twisted abstract breaky massive acid booty
Detroit ruff electro energetic bangin chilled-out
happy up-tempo }

L2 = { house techno drum'n'bass trance breaks gabber
hip-hop 2-step jungle hardcore }

Some of my favorites so far are: soulful psychedelic disco trance, downtempo Florida gabber, and abstract progressive booty house. There are more and better of these to be found, I'm sure. Once you have a good name, all you need to do is buy some records and go out and become a talented, world-class, headliner quality, superstar DJ like Keoki or Humpty Vission ;-)

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