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  • Goldie Hawn and Patrick Swayze fucking furiously on a couch. (spawned by watching five minutes of Overboard last night before bed)

  • my filthy feet

  • I was shopping in Target when another customer came up to me and demanded to know where the tupperware was. I tried to explain I didn’t work there but she would not go away or shut up. She was angry that Target was out of something. I tried to explain that she was wasting her time – a. I don’t fucking work here! and b. it doesn’t matter why a store is out of something – they’re out, so get on with your life. she was horrible, horrible

  • catching turtles with edebroux. She was good at it, years of practice, I’d forgotten she grew up in Louisiana. (untrue) Finally I caught one and it was so much heavier than I expected, I was afraid it would fall off the line before I swung it to the dock, so I supported it with my hand, but was then afraid it would let go of the line and bite me. edebroux laughed. silly, once they bite something, they don’t let go.

  • I had a penis and was busily figuring out how to masturbate.

  • zoo habitat, someone announcing “Seven foot bear!” It reared up on cue and the crowd oohed. Why was I in there? Just inside the guardrail – I’d hopped over to get something, but now the fence was higher and I was getting nervous, especially when I saw the bear stretching upwards, so dark and huge. The soil was black and crumbly, moist. Lots of branches down, I had to step carefully so I wouldn’t slide on the slope. I can climb this fence. The place where the fence was lowest was right next to where Patrick was standing, which embarrassed me but I knew I had to get out. That wire will shock me. I touched it anyway, just a little shock, not continuous current. I reached up and grabbed the fence with my other hand and when both hands were on the wire something went ZAP through my brain and I was frozen, electric throughout.
    I felt many hands supporting me - they’re being so gentle with me and I knew the hands on my shoulder and the back of my head, helping lower me to the ground, were Patrick’s. Joe’s voice, can you bring her around? sounded so worried. I slipped under and when I came back I felt I’d been asleep for days, it was so much later. Coming to, I saw that there had been a gate in the fence, just a few feet from where I’d tried to climb it.
    A long discussion of whose bear it was – it wasn’t a zoo after all, but a park-like extension of a subdivision – no, the nuns wouldn’t have that type of security.
I had a dream that I was sleeping and dreaming with my eyes open, and my mother was there. She said, "Ah, you still sleep with your eyes open sometimes. That's amazing."

Phone rings and wakes me up for real

It was my dad asking if I wanted to go out for breakfast with him and my mother.

Freaky weird.
-I was driving my car around on completely icy streets, talking on a cell phone I don't have. Kept running into cars, but it's OK because "cars have bumpers".

-Stopped off a house (or maybe I came from it, don't remember) full to the brim with naked women. Very cool.

-Took a left turn at top of icy hill and decided to check out the beach that was right there. Kept running into cartoon characters though.

-There was something about my room being part of a grocery store, but I was happy because I had the magazine aisle and I could just close the door to my aisle/room, and besides, no-one ever shopped in our house anyways.

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