(idea) by jessicapierce Sun Feb 06 2000 at 6:00:12
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  • Goldie Hawn and Patrick Swayze fucking furiously on a couch. (spawned by watching five minutes of Overboard last night before bed)

  • my filthy feet

  • I was shopping in Target when another customer came up to me and demanded to know where the tupperware was. I tried to explain I didn’t work there but she would not go away or shut up. She was angry that Target was out of something. I tried to explain that she was wasting her time – a. I don’t fucking work here! and b. it doesn’t matter why a store is out of something – they’re out, so get on with your life. she was horrible, horrible

  • catching turtles with edebroux. She was good at it, years of practice, I’d forgotten she grew up in Louisiana. (untrue) Finally I caught one and it was so much heavier than I expected, I was afraid it would fall off the line before I swung it to the dock, so I supported it with my hand, but was then afraid it would let go of the line and bite me. edebroux laughed. silly, once they bite something, they don’t let go.

  • I had a penis and was busily figuring out how to masturbate.

  • zoo habitat, someone announcing “Seven foot bear!” It reared up on cue and the crowd oohed. Why was I in there? Just inside the guardrail – I’d hopped over to get something, but now the fence was higher and I was getting nervous, especially when I saw the bear stretching upwards, so dark and huge. The soil was black and crumbly, moist. Lots of branches down, I had to step carefully so I wouldn’t slide on the slope. I can climb this fence. The place where the fence was lowest was right next to where Patrick was standing, which embarrassed me but I knew I had to get out. That wire will shock me. I touched it anyway, just a little shock, not continuous current. I reached up and grabbed the fence with my other hand and when both hands were on the wire something went ZAP through my brain and I was frozen, electric throughout.
    I felt many hands supporting me - they’re being so gentle with me and I knew the hands on my shoulder and the back of my head, helping lower me to the ground, were Patrick’s. Joe’s voice, can you bring her around? sounded so worried. I slipped under and when I came back I felt I’d been asleep for days, it was so much later. Coming to, I saw that there had been a gate in the fence, just a few feet from where I’d tried to climb it.
    A long discussion of whose bear it was – it wasn’t a zoo after all, but a park-like extension of a subdivision – no, the nuns wouldn’t have that type of security.

I like it!